Guilty Pleasures (Chris Brown Fanfic)

6

Kamryn,

I walked in the into school the next day feeling beautiful. (Outfit in Multimedia) All eyes are on me because Im the only one who has heels on and is not a teacher. I curled my hair and put on my flower head band. I feel like Im walking the runway to my locker.

"Nasty Bitch." I heard girl laugh.

"That's the girl that was eating eating her lunch while taking a shit!" A guy shouted and pointed at me. Everyone laughed and shook their heads in disgust.

"No I wasn't." I frowned. The girl pulled out a picture they posted on Facebook and it got 973 likes so I know the while school seen it by now. The picture was of me biting my banana in the bathroom stall. Those girls must have posted it last night After school was out.

"Don't try to purp now, Everybody seen it" The girl laughed and shook her head.

"EVERYBODY, GET TO CLASS, NOW!" We heard a voice yell and everyone scattered like roaches.

Once everyone was gone, I seen it was Mr.Brown. Without saying a word, he hugged me tightly while I cried silently on his shoulder. Im guessing he seen the picture too but only him and I know what I was really doing.

"I can't do this anymore, It's already gotten around the school. These rumors have gone too far and not one person came up to even get to know me. Im asking my mom to home school me tonight." I said in tears.

"Don't give up just yet. Youre gonna get through this, I promise." He whispered in my ear. I melted in his arms as he spoke and whatever he was doing was working.

I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me tighter and hovered his lips over the crook of my neck as If he was debating to kiss me or not.

"We should go to class," I whispered.

"Yeah, we should. But I don't want to," He whispered back. I blushed and snuggled my face into his shoulder.

A door slammed and we pulled apart. There was noone in sight. We rushed in the classroom and began class.

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Lunchtime, I was the last in line. Some people were laughing at me still but it really died down already. I grabbed my lunch and headed to the classroom.

I knocked on his classroom door and he motioned me in.

"You couldve just walked in." He said. Watching me walk in.

"Sorry, I didn't want to be rude." I said setting my tray on a desk and sitting down.

"You good, look at you looking like a model today." He said watching me eat a fry. I smiled and thanked him.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I asked. I don't think he knew either because he took a moment to responded.

"Because, someone as beautiful as you shouldn't be treated as If you're nothing. Don't get me wrong, I will help anyone who gets treated like this If I seen it. It just so happens you're the only one that I feel Im obligated to help." He confessed.

"Do you really think Im pretty?" I asked really wanting know his answer. Although he's my teacher, I always wanted to have a males opinion besides my father's.

"No." He frowned. I dropped my face in disappointment. It hurt but I was expecting that. "I think you're beautiful." He said lifting my chin with his index finger. He chuckled and I blushed in embarrassment.

"Aren't you married?" I blurted noticing he didn't have a wedding ring on. "Sorry." I said for asking a personal question making things awkward.

"It's okay," He sighed. "She called the wedding off."

"Why?" I asked without taking time to think. Pushing my manners aside.

"She said she didn't love me like she thought she did. The man she really loved married her the next day. They had a big wedding... She told me she wanted ours simple and no one there... I see why." He looked at the floor clenching his Jaw. I was afraid of him exploding in rage so I rubbed his back and he closed his eyes while a few tears fell. "I really loved that girl... I still do." He admitted.

"Look at it like this, She left you so you can find the woman who loves you as much as you love her" I said making him smile.

"But that's gonna take a long time." He said.

"Love takes time." I said.

"I spent 4 years with that girl. What a waste." He smirked.

"Not a waste, Just a lesson learned." I said drinking my lemon water.

He thought for a moment and smiled. "How old are you?" He asked.

"I'll be 19 this weekend," I said truthfully. His eyes widened and he grinned. "Why?"

"So, I won't feel guilty for doing this." He lifted me onto his desk and crashed his lips into mine and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped mine around his neck and he deepened the kiss. He pressed his tongue against my lips for permission of entrance and I allowed him to go further. The longer we kissed, the happier I got. He pulled away as we were breathing heavy and bit his bottom lip.

"We will never speak of this again." He winked.

"Yeah, never again." I smiled all extra hard. Hiding my face.

I feel like the happiest girl in the world. I just had my first kiss... by my teacher. Who would have expected that?

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Once I walked into the house, I got a bad feeling. Something just didn't seem right. I heard shouting from my parents room, which Is weird because my dad never comes home this early. I was on my way upstairs when I realized that they were arguing over me.

"She's your daughter, and it's your job to protect her!" My mom said.

"No, it's your job to protect her! Im not even sure If she is mine. I been taking care of her because I loved you but everyone knows you were a whore!" My dad shouted. I felt a tear hit my cheek and I sat on the outside of the door listening to their conversation.

"Im was never a whore, you were just like them and I should've known. You don't love me. You never did. You just felt sorry for me and you knew this was your baby. You stole my virginity when you were drunk! I hate you. I fucking hate you. All this time I thought that this was love but we were fooling ourselves and lying to our daughter." My mother cried.

"I was never ready to be a father. You put this on me." My dad blamed her. "I gotta play this role because I really do love you but how am I supposed to live with a daughter who can't even take a few jokes? She cries whenever we take her to school. She's just an ungrateful brat and I don't know-"

I didn't want to hear No more. I ran upstairs and slammed my door Shut and locked it. I grabbed my razor that I hid in my phone case and ran in the bathroom locking the door. I dragged my back along the bathroom door hitting the floor. I cried as I twirled the razor in my fingers.

Nobody wants me. Im worthless. Im a whore. Im snitch. My grandmother is dead because of me. I should just do everyone a favor and get rid of myself. This will make like a lot easier for my parents, the school, Cara, and Chris. Chris won't have to feel sorry for me anymore. Carter would have is own room to play around in.

I turned on my shower to drown out my cries. I removed my clothes and sat in the tub as the shower ran. I began slicing my thighs like I used to when I was in middle school. The pain felt so good and caused me to go deeper. I looked at my wrists and the thought about how fun it would be to go to heaven early. I know it's a sin to commit suicide but God should understand that it's for the best. I close my my eyes and start my prayer.

"Now, I lay me down to sleep. I okay the lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray the lord my soul to take." I slit both my wrists very deeply and watched the blood run like water.

"Forgive me, Lord." I closed my eyes and drifted away in the darkness.

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