CalPal

-3-

    I spelled it out in chat, "It's pronounced 'say-lum' not 'sale-um'. Most people just say 'kay-lum' though and I never really correct them. People have called me Salem, or Cal obviously, or Caeli, Cae, Callum. Honestly, if it starts with a 'c' or an 's', I probably will answer to it. It's up to you."

    "That's a really pretty name. I've never heard that before. I like it."

    "Yeah, way more interesting than Clay," I jested. Thankfully, he laughed along so now I know that his name isn't as sore of a subject as it is for me.

    We laughed and joked around for a few more minutes, then eventually logged off of Minecraft. I gathered my homework that I needed to get done by the desk and started on it while staying on call in discord with Clay. Honestly, it felt nice to have a name to say instead of Dream. It makes the friendship feel a little more connected, like it's not just a one time thing. I wonder if he feels the same.

    "It does feel a bit relieving to have someone who knows about my real name and my social media life. Now I have someone to rant to about viewership, or monetization, or speed running, I don't know. I never thought my first name reveal would be so lifting."

    He chuckled, "I felt the same way too."

    Clay kept me company while I did homework and notes. Most of the time, it was just silence as he was coding a plugin for Minecraft. He didn't push too much into my personal life as I kind of gave an insight to how private I really am. Any time he did speak though, he'd start the sentence by addressing me by my name or a nickname; never Cal though. Soon, the names started getting ridiculous.

    "So Captain Crunch, how's the homework going?"

    I burst out laughing, "Cereal?"

    "Ooh, that's a good next one. I'll make a note."

    I rolled my eyes, "I'm almost done."

    "Same."

    I sighed and dropped my pen, "Have you ever showed your face to anyone?"

    "Um yeah. My friend George. I went to visit him in the U.K. in July and hung out with a few other friends named Wilbur and Tommy. Also my friend Sapnap. He lives in Texas but we've been friends for so long. Also my friend Badboyhalo. He lives in Florida too, so I see him more than the others. Other than them, I don't think anyone else has seen what I look like. I might be wrong though."

    "Was it scary or were you anxious when they first saw you?"

    He hummed, "Um kind of but also not really. When Sap first saw me, we had been friends so long up until that point that I genuinely couldn't see him like leaving me or something once he knew what I looked like. It's the same with George. I was afraid of what the others would think because we're not as close. It honestly all worked out fine though."

    "So why keep hiding your face then if you've had positive experiences?"

    "For the privacy mostly and anticipation. I mean, I have such a big fan base now, I feel like if they knew what I looked like, I would be approached every time I go out. It's also kind of funny to go up to people in stores when they wear my merch and tell them I like their hoodie. They don't think anything of it. I just don't want them wanting me to have a face cam with like every stream either. But also, it's like the longer I put it off, the more I don't want to do it."

    "I get that. It's like when you're doing something you're dreading; the longer you wait to do it, the more anxious you get. It doesn't really help that your fan base grows every single day."

    "Honestly, I'm so glad there's someone else that understands like exactly how important this whole face reveal thing is. All my friends have their faces openly online. Like George, every time he streams, he has his face cam on. They understand to an extent, but don't quite get why I don't want to 'just get it over with'. You understand though. You're in the same boat as me."

    "Practically identical. Our fan base is around the same size."

    "The only thing with you is you're more anxious about it and rightly so. You're not just hiding a face, you're hiding like an entire life."

    "Sometimes I think, that people just follow me and subscribe to me for the mystery. I mean like, fuck Minecraft for a second. Sometimes I feel like people are just keeping up with me in hopes that they'll find out more about me. But the second they do, they'll leave because there's no mystery anymore. Nothing to hunt for. The gag is gone."

    "That's all in your head, though. Trust me. If that were the truth, they'd probably get bored and would've already left. You grew because people like your personality. I don't know why, all's you do is swear and rage quit—"

    "Oh shut the fuck up."

    He wheezed, "But seriously. They're following you for your personality and for how good of a Minecraft player you are. Not for possibly getting your face in the future."

    "Oh my god, you called me a good Minecraft player. Can you repeat that so I can put it on Twitter?"

    It was his turn to "shut the fuck up" on me. When I realized he was going to be stubborn, I tweeted it out anyway.

        @CalPal: Dream called me a good Minecraft player

    "Fuck you!" Clay wheezed out.

        @DreamWasTaken2: Proof or it didn't happen

    "Okay rude. Don't shoot me down like that. I didn't deserve that."

    "Mhm sure."

    "Whatever bitch boy."