My Military/P.D Big brother (Jay Halstead X One Chicago)

Chapter 24

Then I reached his room, his unit was all there and they where all chatting and joking, then that's when Platt saw me standing at the door and said "hey Texas come on in." she ushered me into the room and I saw a very beat up and injured Jay lying there in bed, then I looked around and that the others and then I heard his voice "hey little sis, could you guys give us the room."

Everyone had nodded and walked out, this is where I should remind you that I was once a Lieutenant in the Marines, and yeah I have had very strong words with boys within my unit and then with my brothers but I knew what was about to happen and I think Jay knew too what he was about to get as he has seen me mad at my unit boys before....

He tried to speak, but I got there first! And in a slightly raised voice I said,

"hell no, you do not get to fucking talk Halstead!, I told you this was going to happen and didn't you fucking listen to me or mouse no? no you fucking didn't! and now here we are in the hospital with you in the bed and injured!"

"if you had just walked away or Fucking dropped this case we wouldn't be in this situation Jay, you don't get it do you? You have never seen it from other people's shoes!"

Then he eventually spoke up "look Dylan I fucked up, I know that, and I understand you are pissed at me but  you are not my commanding officer! Your my family! You are like blood to me and I am sorry If I scared you, but this was my choice and my mistake!"

Then I said back " oh i am so Fucking glad i am not your commanding officer right now! or you would be in serious Fucking Shit with me! and i bloody hope Voight ripped into you over this too, and yes it is your fucking mistake but it fucking bloody affects everyone in your life! 

Think about Natalie she has already lost one partner and Owen has lost one farther even though he doesn't know him, and I am Fucking sure they both wouldn't want to Fucking bloody lose you either!"

So Jay did you think of them!? Huh when you decided to go and jump into action even though Voight told you to stay at your fucking desk!?...(there was no answer).....

ahh right there we fucking go, you didn't think about them in your split second thought of you getting hurt! how it could affect them or their life's."

Then he piped up again "hey that's not fair Dylan!, I care about Natalie and Owen and yes maybe I didn't think about them in the moment and maybe I should of alright! I get it, I bloody Fucking get it now!"

Are voiced has raised so much that his unit who where sitting outside could us at this point.

"well Jay, I don't know what the fuck to do anymore with you, I can't even look at you at you right now! Cause if you had died today you would have left a girlfriend without a partner and child without his farther for a second time in their life's!" 

Wake up and realize there is more than you in this world Jay, you have people in your life that rely on you and you have a family to think about its not just you anymore!"

Then he said "Dylan I know now there is more than me and I have never had to Fucking think about others like this before, I am so sorry for Not thinking about them in that moment, but when I did get shot I did think about them and It did hurt me knowing that I could leave those two behind the ones i truly love and care about so much and it woke me up to realize that there is more than me to worry about and that has changed how I do my job!" he shouted back at me.

"wow, at least I took you being shot to make you realize that's there is more than just one life that will get hurt if something worse to happen to you, but you need professional help Jay, promise me you will get help, so I can get my brother back, cause I am standing here and I am looking at someone I don't Fucking know anymore....

I am struggling too Jay, I miss being a Fucking Marine, and I am jealous of the fact that mouse is still fighting for our country! And yes me and Marshall broke up, we are over! (But we are still friends of course) and I was thinking of telling you but then I didn't find the time too.....

It was too hard for me to have a relationship with someone who is still active duty there was to much for me to handle but like hell would you know, cause you haven't even be bothered to ask? 

 But you never did bother to  fucking ask!? did you, No because you are so Fucking caught up in your own problems that you forget I have any!....

I am hurting like Fuck Jay, but do you Fucking see me putting myself in danger! No I know it's not exactly the same as someone dying, which i am very sorry that you lost your friend, but I broke my own heart... and plus on top of all of this!.... i took a breathe and then carried on....

 I am worried about Mouse as I haven't heard from in 3 days! And on top I also haven't heard from Marshall either, its killing me with the whole not knowing if they are ok.... then there is you in there too, i knew you where going to do something stupid i just didn't know what it was going to be....

But I still have managed to keep myself contented and haven't totally lost it unlike you!"

Then he said "Dylan I had no idea what you where or are going through and I am so sorry! Texas and yes I do get so Fucking caught up with my own problems and then I don't end up being there for you when you really need me to be, I am such an idiot! Look I am here now, and I want to be here for you like how we use to be...."

Then I had tears in my eyes, as I looked up at him and said, "oh Chicago I don't know if we will ever be like that again as much as we wish for that, we just aren't the same people we were back then...I am sorry jay I just can't be around this or you right now...."

Then I turned around and opened the door and then i heard him say "hey you said that you wouldn't give up on me?" so i turn around in the door way and said back " wow you seriously think this is me giving up on you? this is not me giving up on, i want you to fight, Jay I want you to get help and I want you to able to save yourself and to get back to yourself, i am just not going to be the shoulder or the person you talk to about this, you need to start opening up to Natalie, Jay i love you brother, but i already feeling that i am starting to sink and so I am not strong enough to keep us both a float at the moment." 

then i carried on and walked out to see everyone from the Intelligence unit staring at me, and I simply put my head down and walked towards the stairs and carried on walking with tears streaming down my face.

Then as I walked through the emergency department, Natalie had seen me and I simply said to her "I am sorry I just can't right now, you are the one to get him through this and you are the one that can get him to therapy." then i hugged her and walked out of the ED and headed straight to my car, still got tears in my eyes..

my thoughts where all over the place... I guess I hadn't noticed how this had really affected me...

Then just I jumped into my jeep my phone rung... I picked up...

Phone call..

Dylan: yes hello who is this calling?

Mysterious voice: Dylan this is Captain Daniels from the U.S Army Rangers core I am calling about..........