Never Run

029 ::: Never Think

Hi! It hasn't been super long since I have updated, but long enough and I am sorry about that. Here is a new chapter, obviously, and I can't believe I am at 29 chapters. 

I want to say thank you real quick to all my readers and voters out there - you all have brought this story to over 20k reads and 1k votes! When I tell you I shit myself - I mean I didn't really, but that was my feeling of shock. Thank you so much and I love you all so so so so so much!

There's also something at the end of the chapter - PLEASE read it!

Enjoy! :) <3

I was absolutely sick to my stomach.

Standing in my room staring out of the window, I was at a complete loss.

I had been since he uttered that one word - the one word that could have possibly sealed the fate of some poor soul that wouldn't see it coming.

It was in that moment where I wasn't sure if I was eager to return home or downright terrified.

There were so many things that could go wrong and I have no doubt in my mind that something will go wrong. At least here, we were alone, isolated, from my family. That I could do, I could protect them from here, miles from the slums, and, ironically, safely tucked away in their home. Though, it wasn't something I realized right away, my stubbornness getting in the way of their safety.

Xaler saw to that.

But once I knew, once I realized that I could keep them all safe, relatively speaking, I sacrificed. They had done the same for me their entire lives, and it's no question that if the roles were switched, they would all do the same for me.

I would never stop protecting my family.

Except what was really disconcerting to me was how nice, for the lack of a better term, Xaler had been to me since I had essentially "sucked it up" and bent to his will in the least way possible. It made me wonder, if his attitude and treatment towards me changed this drastically just from the slightest bit of submission, I wonder what would happen if I gave more.

It was scary to think that I could quite possibly have the world at my fingertips, to bat my eyelashes and move mountains, an innocent smile and he would cross the sea. It made my body quake.

What alarmed me the most was not being to identify if I liked the shakes or not.

I had to snap out of it. He, they, all of them - enemies. Since day one and that's all the would ever be.

But could I change the world for the better? If I took his hand and stood next to him, gazing out at all of the citizens that were supposedly "beneath" me. Could I, or we, make changes to benefit humans? My kind? My people?

The ultimate sacrifice.

Was I willing to go that far?

Was I willing to suffer through lifetimes of unhappiness and misery for the happiness of humans? Humans I didn't even know?

Would I even be able to live with myself or would I resort to attempting to take my life again?

I suppose with the certainty of human happiness and the guarantee that my family would be safe and live long and healthy lives, I could be content, not happy, but that would be the sacrifice I would possibly have to make.

The thought of having to rule over humans with a beast for hundreds of years and bear his children makes me shiver and nearly gag.

I knew that children would be the one thing he required in exchange for my needs and wants. Producing an heir to him is something that he would never give up - not in a million years. Realistically speaking, he could've forced one to be growing inside of me by now, but, thankfully, he hasn't resorted to something that vile.