Remember Us? (M/M)

28.

To say I was stunned was an understatement. At first, I couldn't even react. Then before I knew it, you left and I was left there with the dinner going cold. I didn't hear off you for several days - the phone was off the hook, and you didn't show up for work. I was worried sick.

Then, on the 4th day, you turned up at my door and just stared at me for what felt like a lifetime. You weren't giving anything away, and I just stared back. When you finally came in, you stormed past and went on a rant. I stayed silent as you explained that you had started having feelings for me and didn't know what to do.

It turns out that the reason you were concentrating so hard before was because you didn't know if you could contain yourself. You'd started to fancy me and didn't want to cheat on Tiffany. And when I looked at you and wiped the flour away, you realised it was something much more - which must have been the look I caught.

Then you'd spent a good while trying to figure out what to do about Tiffany and figure your head out. But the night we cooked the meal together, it got the better of you, and you kissed me. Shocked by this, you knew you had to leave and clear your head for a few days.

That's when you showed up at my door staring. The next thing you told me was that was all there was ever going to be between us and you owed it to Tiffany to try and make it work - even if you weren't much of a couple any more. For the next month or so, we kept it strictly professional, and we never met outside of work. I was heartbroken.' I could see a tear fall down his cheek as he thought back.

'Then Tiffany showed up at my door with you. I nearly fainted wondering what on earth she'd come here to do. But to my surprise, she thrust you towards me and told us to kiss and make up because she was sick of seeing your mopey face and whatever fight we had was nothing worth losing our friendship over. I could have laughed, but she was already leaving, and we were soon left alone.

It was all a blur from then on in, and I couldn't tell you how we ended up in my bed. All I knew was that my heart was beating blood into my ears, and my hands were shaking too much to unbutton my shirt. I looked into your eyes, and then the whole world just melted away, and my heart slowed and swelled. I knew I was lost to you.

It was magical. Your kisses were so sweet and soft, and you seemed to know exactly what I wanted. That night, you decided you were leaving Tiffany and texted her to let her know you were staying over for the night and would talk the next day.

Only she had to leave for a week on business. We spent the whole time shacked up here, except when we had work, of course. We were in our own little world and couldn't wait to make it official. But it wasn't so simple.

I don't mean you lied and started messing me about by any means. You really tried to talk to her. At first, she begged for you to stop talking before you could finish. Then she was 'too busy to talk'. Her excuses kept mounting, and she would put up a fuss. Begged you to reconsider. Cried so hard you were worried for her safety if you left her alone.

Then she finally let you talk. You didn't tell her about me because we both decided it might be too much for her at first. You eventually got to tell her you were no longer in love and that it was time she moved on and found someone who could really appreciate her. She was ok with it. Or so you thought.

That's when I visited your mom and told her of my intentions to propose to you. She was over the moon and shoved those rings in my hand and told me to do whatever I liked with them - try and get them recast for us both. I was waiting for you to move in fully before I popped the question, which is why they are still in my draw.

Then, one night, you went home to collect some more of your stuff, and it was as if nothing had ever happened in Tiffanys eyes. And this was a case of enough is enough for you. You texted me to tell me you were about to reveal the whole truth about us and move the rest of your stuff out that night. Then I didn't hear off you. I got so worried I turned up at your house but no one was there. When I finally discovered what was going on, it was too late. You'd fallen down the stairs and were in hospital.

You know the rest. Tiffany convinced me this whole lie was for the best, and I actually agreed with it. As much as it broke me to go along with it, telling you and losing you would be much, much worse. And I hope I haven't lost you now you know everything.' He looked hopeful into my eyes.

But I just couldn't look back. It was so much to take in, and it felt like somebody elses life - somebody elses memories being shared with me. It felt foreign. 'I'm so sorry, Tim, I just can't deal with all this right now. I need to leave - to go speak to my mom and Tiffany.'

'Please, Jason, just understand. I love you, don't go. I thought we had something special here despite our past - despite what I just revealed.'

'We do, we did. But this has changed things. I don't know what to think anymore. We had a life, a whole great big love before this, and I need to process that. You lied to me for so long and didn't trust me enough to tell me.' He squeezed onto my hand tight, but I pulled it away. I couldn't deal with that right now. 'I'm so sorry, Tim, I have to go.'

I left him sitting there staring at me as I left without looking back.