Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Addie: Her Soul

Title: Her Soul

Author: Nefili123

Reviewer: Addison-AJ

Summary: 4.2/5

Your summary was pretty great! It talked about the main characters, the plot, and the problem in the story. I loved how the title related to the question at the end. Now, all of this was very clear to the reader. But it was almost at the point where it was a little too clear.

I noticed that there was a lot of information throughout the description, which is fine. However, the summary should have enough details to make the reader want to read, but not so much that it answers their questions. If you look at the length of your summary, there are definitely parts that you can leave out. That way, it won't seem overwhelming for just a short description.

On a more positive note, the question was amazing. The only thing with it is that it somewhat jumps from the massive amount of information to the question. All three parts were amazing on their own, and it would make it even better if the transitions were smoother. To emphasize on this, I have an example:

Now he would have to take her soul and save the innocent.

Will he take her soul or fall for her?

It's not very convincing, and that's because it needs to have a greater impact on the reader. Talk about how he felt after he met her. Did she seem like a murderer at first? Was it more of the typical 'love at first sight' to the reader? If you give barely enough detail to answer the questions like these (not too much), then it would make the transitions smoother.

Secondly, there was a minor capitalization error that I found in your summary. This was not included in the final score, because it was literally the smallest one ever!

His Jaw was set hard.

In this case, the word 'jaw' is not a proper noun. That means that it won't be capitalized. For this category, I encourage you to not give so much information that it answers a lot of questions. Instead, try and create more questions with just enough information. But otherwise, your summary is fantastic!

Character Building: 4/5

All the characters in your book were beautiful and unique. There was a perfect amount of diversity between them, and their personalities were different. Aviana's stubbornness and Riann's strength - Wow! The characterization and their dialogue were intriguing and interesting. There were meaningful wording and engaging language. Well done!

I only had a couple of issues with the characters. First of all, you introduced quite a few characters in the first couple of chapters: Jayden, Aviana, Riann, Amos, Kenya, Mithali, Mikilene, Scarlet, Morris, Dash, Silas. It became hard to keep track of at one point. Later on in the story, it was easier to remember. My suggestion for this is to spread it out more. Maybe you can add the less important characters later in the book.

I have never mentioned this before in a review, but I want you to know how unique and creative your names are. You chose such amazing ones for your book. Aviana and Kenya were by far my personal favorite. Spectacular job with the names of your characters.

The only other issue that I had with your characters was that there could have been more showing than telling. Occasionally, you could have been more specific with their personalities and attributes. Your other descriptions were amazing, but I did want to mention this. An example would be from chapter two: