Title: The Soulmate Guide
Author: Abeeha_32
Reviewer: Fayesther
Title + Cover: 5/5
A fab title for this story. It makes it clear that the centre focus is the mysterious book that Blake finds.
I love the cover! The picture is beautiful yet simple and the colours give off an inviting ambience. The font choices are very well thought out. The title and author's name are clear and easy to read and the cursive font used for the subtitle is a nice touch as it reflects nicely how I believe the calligraphy of the soulmate guide looks like. Gorgeous!
Description: 4/5
You included the perfect amount of information in the description to get your reader on board. You give insight into your main character and his situation and express the concept of your book really well.
However, there are times within your execution where it seems a bit chunky. I believe if you did a quick re-write where you cut down on unnecessary words it would be much smoother.
For example:
"quite a bit" in "He is generally inexpressive and quite a bit introverted."
Grammar: 2/5
A lot of your writing is very well done regarding grammar but I did notice a few errors here and there.
In chapter one:
Rather than writing "I and Ethan" it is grammatically correct to write it "Ethan and I" it flows nicer that way round when reading.
In "And there it lied, my REWARD." If you put "lay" instead of "lied" it will be a less clumsy sentence.
Also, sentences should not start with "and", for "and" is a conjunction. To fix this you could either get rid of the "and" and start the sentence with "There", or you could use a comma instead of the full stop and change the capital "A" to a lower case "a" and join the sentences together.
In chapter 2:
You put an unnecessary apostrophe.
Its - possessive.
It's - "it is" (This is a rule that I got caught out on too!)
Rather than writing "writ" in
"...with fear writ large on my face..."
The word "written" would work better.
"This guide belongs to only and only BLAKE ANDERSON."- this sentence is confusing to read, I don't think the "only and only" is needed.
I also noticed a couple of typos through out the story so far, and lastly, when writing dialogue make sure you take a new line when a new person speaks. Doing that helps the reader keep track of whose saying what.
Writing Style: 3/5
This story has beautiful descriptions! I could quite vividly picture the ancient book in my mind. I love how you described it inside and out!
There is a moment in chapter two where you told rather than shown in your writing. When Blake says that he is "shy and inexpressive". Rather than telling us that this is part of his personality it would be nice to be shown it in a scene. For instance, he may react awkwardly towards someone coming to the door or you could explore how he is with people at school. Adding this information here felt a bit out of place and sort of crow-barred in.
Including the definition of "POV" is not needed as most readers are already aware of its meaning.
I love the way you write Blake's narrative; it is fun and heart-warming. You have included a lot of humour.
The pacing of your story is great! You give plenty of information for the reader to fully submerge into your story's world and you also have not share too much at once- it is important to leave your reader wanting more, so to encourage future reading. You have seemed to have mastered that balance! Brilliant work!
Characterisation: 5/5
Your main character/narrator- Blake (lovely name- I very rarely see that name) is a kind and very likeable individual. You have written the narrative so consistently that you have managed to build up his personality through the way he's telling his story. Very subtle and very effective!
As the chapters go, you expose more and more of Blake's character really well. No new information comes across as out of place. He is a complex individual with flaws as well as quality traits. Your writing shows very clearly that you have thought through your character in great detail. Great work!
Leah is also an interesting character! I like that you didn't write her as the stereotypical girlie girl. You gave her a fighting spirit, which I found so refreshing!
Other characters I have seen in the few chapters that I have read are also well thought out. The fact that I can see that already is incredibly impressive by the way! Though I haven't seen a lot of character exposition for the other characters yet, the chapters you have written give good reason for me to have great confidence that you will not forget to impart these details in future chapters!
Plot: 5/5
There is a good use of a cliff-hanger in chapter one.
Background information entwined well within the story. It doesn't disrupt the flow and it helps the reader understand the main character better.
The storyline is easy to follow so far and is so engaging! I love the mystery/fantasy elements especially! They really caught my eye! Giving your story an unique flare.
OVERALL SCORE: 24/30
This story is full of interesting ideas and relatable and well thought out characters. Full of humour and heart-warming moments. An enjoyable read, this story is like a warm hug! Thank you so much for asking me to review this book. It was a pleasure to read your wonderful ideas. Blake is so cool!
I am looking forward to seeing new chapters!
YOU ARE READING
Sapphire's Review Store 3.0
Non-FictionSince both our first and second review stores have exceeded 200 chapters (with a grand total of 379 reviews published), I am opening up this third book to fit in all of our future reviews. Yay team! We are still OPEN to requests, however, this book...
