𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

🅴🅿︎ 🅽🅸🅽🅴

I rolled my eyes and pushed the boy off lightly, we're not doing that. The boy quickly moved along as I eyed down Nate

"Let them stare, it's not like they have a chance anyway. And please don't ever do that again, it was stupid."

"I don't want them looking at your ass and saying all that shit about you."

"So why didn't you step in and say something to them if it bothered you so much?", I crossed my arms as he huffed shoving his sweats into my hands.

"I couldn't step in or else--"

"Or else what? They'd think you're funny for standing up for me, might think you like me or something? Guess what, you have no reason to be scared because they're the clowns here. They're the ones staring all at me like they want something from me so for them to make fun of you or call you out on your sexuality is bullshit. Even then, if you were a straight male---you have every right to still say something. Lesson one right there is you gotta be confident. You can't be afraid to state an opinion or admit something. Sexuality and in other terms."

"Well just saying it like that don't mean it's automatically gonna come to me," he snapped as I rolled my eyes.

"As if I expected it, it's not gonna come. You just have to get comfortable and realize not everyone's not gonna have the same ideals as you and have a view on who you are a person, how you showcase yourself, and your attitude. It comes hand in hand and with practice you'll learn. So manage to make yourself a voice every once in a while about something that matters. Not useless conversations on a girl's racks or ass, important things. It'll help."

"And this comes with figuring out myself...my sexuality I mean? I voice myself out more and it'll come along with that?", we walked out the locker room to the gym before sitting down on the bleachers before class started.

"Part of it, it's not gonna come in one step Nate. This is a process that some like you have to go through. You're not those that know off the bat. You have a serious issue with how you view yourself and what others think. Gotta get you out of that window and into a space where only you're able to judge yourself."

He nodded and contemplated on that for a while as we listened to coach explain our unit for this month. He leaned over and began to whisper so we wouldn't cause an interruption, "Did you ever have these problems? How did you know you're..."

"Pansexual...I had some difficulty with it at first but I was a little more open to the LGBTQIAP+ community than you. My family is extremely supportive, non-judgemental, and open with everything they support. Some like my parents are also part of the community so I was always exposed to it. With them though I was never pressured into a certain sexuality, I'm allowed to explore and express myself in which way I want and so I did that."

"Yeah, my family ain't too much like that. They don't speak bad on any people other than straight but I know deep down they'll be iffy about it. I can imagine what it could be like for me...how do you figure it out?"

"When I first got my Instagram account. I was on my explore page a lot and I followed a lot of people my mama was associated with and he knows so many people. I've seen and met different people and I found myself questioning how could I possibly like this many people who are all special in their own way. Me as a cisgender and straight male at the time was confused with liking a girl with a penis. Or a transgender with qualities more masculine than mine. I had come to realize that I like both along with the rest. Everyone is for me----it happens that there's a soul out there to match mine and they can come in any form."

"Will I ever know what I am or is there a way I can figure this out sooner? Because I've made mistakes that caused people to get hurt...I've hurt you. All because I don't know what to call myself or how to bring that out of me and display it," I grabbed his shoulder as he was getting upset.

"Don't rush it. It'll come to you when it does. Just explore your options and I mean for you to branch out from me. You may like me or love me like you say you do but I may not be right for you. I could be the exact opposite of who you're meant to be with, but that's all up to you if you choose to research more and meet new people.

"I'm in control. It's all in my reigns," he said to himself as I smiled rubbing his back.

"Exactly, you're in control of that."

I had a good feeling that he would try to find more out about himself. I'm sure it'll do him good.

I loved the topics of this chapter and I know it's gonna be fun writing about it in future chapters. If anyone is having trouble talking about your sexuality and how you view yourself, don't hesitate to contact me! I'm an all open person and I share a connection in the LGBTQIAP+ community as well.

Dominique?

Nate?

Hope your day has been well! ❤️