SHIVER

Chapter 4 - Convince Me

I wake late, meaning I don't have time to get anything to fill my empty stomach. I barely even had time to get dressed this morning. My head is pounding and I just want to crawl up some where and sleep. My stomach is still churning from the night before, and the idea of facing Sarah isn't helping in the slightest.

I pull up to work bang on time and rush into the building, throwing my things into my office space. I grab the files and wander around looking for Sarah so that I can confront her. I spot her in the kitchenette making a coffee, and I storm over to her.

"Sarah, I told you. Did you even listen!?" I ask her, exasperated. She can see the anger in my eyes, but it doesn't faze her. She just smiles at me.

"Of course I did. I thought you were making a joke though. And anyway, I need you to be there to help Charlie," She tells me as she stops walking to glare at me. "He needs a partner Emily. One with a lot of experience."

"Send him away with someone else then, like Joe!! He is much more experienced than I am!!! And, he would be glad to keep me safe!!" I am fuming now, and I begin to shake in anger. She knows how much this will hurt me, and she promised that I would get to stay doing office jobs for a while. "Or since you are so determined, why don't you go with him!?" I retort back to her.

"For godsake Emily!" she snaps at me. "I chose you. I know you have 'issues' but you need to get over them! I took you in when you were 12! You had no problem then and you were very mature, so WHY are you acting like such a child now!?"

I glare at her. How dare she insult me like that! It takes me a great deal of will to stop me from slapping her. My hand twitched at the thought of it. She sees the slight twitch, and she knows if she doesn't get away quickly she will end up hurt.

"Look, I will send Charlie down to convince you. You either say yes to him or you can clean your desk and leave. I can't be dealing with you and I need this job done, so sweetheart, act your age or get out," She storms off, leaving me stranded in the middle of the corridor. I turn on my heel, marching back to my desk, kicking a stray bin over along the way. The small amount of rubbish spills onto the floor and I kick through it. I arrive, and standing at my desk already is Charlie, looking me up and down with sympathy, realising instantly that I am fuming. How on earth did he get here so quickly

"Sarah sent me," he says quietly. "If I were you, I would just do the job."

I see that he feels uncomfortable in my presence, and he must know that I have a tendancy for my emotions to get the better of me.

"Well Charlie you are not me so it is not your choice to make," I glare at him. "I have a perfectly good reason to not want to."

He looks me up and down and nods his head, as if to tell me he understands. He can't possibly, but a part of me feels that he would be able to if I let him.

"I understand. But is it really worth losing your job over?" he asks me. My confidence begins to falter, along with nerve. "I hear you are very respected."

Am I making to much of a deal out of it? Maybe I am. I realise how pathetic he must think I am, and a warm blush rises to my cheeks. yet again, I feel that he must think i am insane. "I suppose..."

"I look forward to it," he winks at me and then walks away. I shake my head as I realise what I have just agreed to. How can he man make me reconsider? Nothing falters my mind when I am determined to resist it, but he can make me reconsider in just a few seconds. I begin to bite my lip as I realise just what I have agreed to and the panic I seem so familiar with swoops over me, making me shiver again.

I close my eyes in an attempt to keep the panic at bay. I open my eyes and briskly walk to my office. I pick up everything I dumped in here just a few seconds ago. I'm not staying here today. I grab my keys out of my bag and storm down to my car, kicking doors along the way as my anger comes back. But, this time, it's me I'm angry with.

I guess that's the way it should be, and a part of me wishes that this time, on the job, I do end up severly hurt. This thought terrifies me as soon as I think it, and I shiver again. I slam the door to my car and drive off. When I enter my house I make it to the livingroom before I collapse. I sob into the carpet. What an earth have I done with my life? it is such a confused mess. I pass out on the floor.

I wake to the sound of knocking on my door, and I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I check the time. 8pm. Who an earth would be knocking on the door at this time. I stand up and answer it. It's Joe. He wraps me in his arms and I begin to sob again. We stay standing in each others arms for what feels like an hour. He tells me everything will be okay, then he takes me to my room and puts me in bed. I say good night and he leaves. I thank him silently for helping me and I drift into sleep.

I did say he felt like a big brother to me.

***