SHIVER

Chapter 3 - The Choice

It turned out it was a quiet "night in the office" as we refer to it. I was relieved. At least I didn't have to spend time with Charlie tonight and face the tension, but for some reason that made my heart sink. Whenever I think of him I get muddled with my feelings. My head spins and I can't work out what to think.

I eventually leave work after a long night of confusion. I was too busy working on a project to read the files, and I had to run around for Sarah and Joe. I get home late, and I take a warm shower and try to ease my mind, and my hands and legs for that matter. Typing all day really does give you cramp, and running around before warming up really does make you stiff.

I need to read the files Sarah had left on my desk. As I read them, I as wonder if she had taken me seriously when I told her 'No' to the job she was trying to get me to do. I am eighteen now and no longer an adrenaline junkie like I used to be back when I started at the age of twelve. She must realise this. I also value my life more than I did back when I was a kid. She also knows how much I seem to be traumatised after a job like that.

The idea of going back to that place terrifies me.

I sigh as I read it over and over, convincing myself that I have to tell her I can't, not after I promised to myself. Sarah might understand, then again, she might sack me on the spot for jeopardizing an important "mission", and I really do need the money. However, is it worth putting my life at risk like I have done before? I have a bad feeling about it and my instincts tell me not to go. I trust my insticts. They are correct most of the time.

The thought of the danger makes me shiver and a flash of the past has me gasping for air. I feel panic rise inside me. I can't, I can't, I can't.

So, I go to bed debating my choices, knowing that either way, it will not work out well. I will either get sacked, or, going by what my instincts are telling me, Charlie or I would be put into danger. And like I predict, I wake up shivering in the morning, covered in a cold sweat after another horrible nightmare. It features him again. Him. The one I might have to face on Friday.

It's always the same nightmare. However, this one was more detailed and gruesome, elaborating on the horrible details. The images reply in my mind, and I feel bile rise in throat. The taste is horrible, and I have to dart to the bathroom, only just making it in time. I see my dinner again, but that's not what makes me vomit again. What makes me vomit again is another flashblack of the gruesome details. This continues on and off for about an hour until I have nothing left in me to come back out. The gagging is so painful that tears are streaming down my face. I sit in a hudle on the floor crying my eyes out, knowing that no matter what I say I am going to have to do the job Sarah wants me to do. I pass out on the floor due to exhaustion from all the events, day and night.

A small part of me hopes I never wake up again.

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