CalPal

-1-

    "Okay no one clip the past, like, ten minutes. I was frustrated; I didn't mean anything. Or maybe I did. You know what, if you saw me raging, no you didn't. None of that happened, you're just delusional."

    I sighed and looked at the clock in the corner of one of my monitors. It was two in the morning. I had classes at eight in the morning and though they were all online, I was not looking forward to waking up that early.

    "Alright well I'm going to end the stream here. You asshats need to get to bed, as do I. Thank you all for tuning in and watching me crush the speed run record. If you see me being petty about placing third and not second on Twitter, no you didn't. Have a good night, morning, or afternoon wherever you are in the world right now. I will politely be passing the fuck out now. Bye!" I waved my palm in the air regardless of the viewers not being able to see. Then, I ended the stream.

    I looked at the statistics on my Twitch page and saw the amount of viewership I gained this stream. It was around the average: 320k views. It made me happy seeing consistency throughout all my streams. It meant that people kept returning. I must have a good personality.

    I've been streaming on Twitch for about ten months now. I currently have a following of 1.3 million on there. After continuously topping records on the speed run chart, the viewership went up each new stream. Now I had hundreds of thousands of people watching me swear like a trucker, rage, fall out of my chair, and slay Minecraft.

    I still haven't shown my face. I went into the streaming lifestyle to relieve some of the stress of school. The YouTuber I grew up watching, CaptainSparklez, streams on Twitch and I wanted to give it a try. It became addicting and a good way to give my mind a break. At first, no one would enter my stream and it'd just be me singing along to music and talking myself. Soon enough, it grew into a fanbase.

    One of the reasons I wanted to keep my face away from the stream was to secure my privacy. I didn't want to be swarmed in town when I just want to look like a bum. It alleviated some of the pressure to always look good. Another reason why I refused to show my face was because of my insecurity. I'm pretty confident in the way I look and that definitely shows with the way I carry and present myself. However, the only thing I've ever been insecure about is my teeth. Growing up, my mum couldn't afford to get me braces. Half the time we didn't have insurance, and the other half, the insurance didn't cover the cost of braces. My teeth weren't completely bad, but my canine teeth poked out more forward and my bottom row of teeth overlapped each other at some points. I'd have enough money now with my streaming to get them fixed, but I have to get myself through college and that isn't cheap.

    So, I continued to keep my face cam off as well as my face off social media. If I did post my face anywhere, I was wearing a face mask and sunnies, sometimes taking the disguise a bit further and throwing on a bucket hat. As my fanbase grew overwhelmingly, I continue to feel the build up of pressure to impress them and reveal who I am. There were tens of hundreds of donations every single stream asking when I'd be doing one. I give the same answer: soon.

    I'm not ugly. I have bright green eyes that resemble the shade Oxfam green. They're like as bright as Nash Grier's eyes, but green instead of blue. It's always been everyone's favorite part of my physical being. It draws people in first. I have a limestone skin tone. Not too pale, not too tan. Though I do get a shade or two darker when I sit out in the sun. My hair was a medium ash brown color that traveled down half my back. It had cool tones and really complimented my eyes. I was blessed with the fact that I didn't have any red tones in my hair. I had freckles painted across my cheeks and the bridge of my nose palely. They dissipated on my forehead and almost completely disappeared on my chin. I had a small, refined nose that complimented my small face. I'm supposed to wear glasses as well, but the bridge of my nose is too concave and they slide down my face.