fighting love » l.s.

thirty seven - white lies

Louis's phone buzzed in his pocket, and Harry's name popped up on the screen. He contemplated denying the call, but he knew that ignoring his boyfriend would just make things worse. He fumbled in his coat pocket for some money, handing Eleanor the cash and the cake to buy before he stepped quickly out of the store.

"Hey, Haz," Louis answered, trying hard to make his voice as cheerful as possible. The phone was cold against his cheek, and he struggled to steady his shaking hand. "How's your night so far?"

"Seems like it's not as fun as yours."

Louis's heart dropped into the pit that had already formed and settled in his stomach, but he tried to regain what little composure he'd started the call with. "Yeah, it's pretty good. I just grabbed some food and now I'm about to put on --"

"Stop, Louis. Liam called me. I know you're with her."

"I can explain," Louis said immediately. In his heart, as soon as Harry's name had flashed across his screen, Louis had known that Liam or Niall must have told him.

"I doubt that," Harry replied simply. He had heard all of Louis's explanations, and every time, Harry had pretended to understand. He couldn't keep pretending to understand how Louis could hurt him over and over again. Not anymore.

Louis exhaled sharply. "Someone told my mum I had a girlfriend, and she wanted to meet her. She wanted to have dinner with her. Harry, I'm not ready to come out to people at school yet, let alone my own mum. What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Louis, maybe literally anything other than coming up with some elaborate scheme? Anything other than weaving yourself into yet another web of lies? I don't have anything else to say to you. All you do is lie, and I can't take it anymore. I can't do this."

"Harry, please," Louis begged. "I'm not ready. I didn't know what else to do."

"Fine. I'll tell you what to do. Tell Eleanor to go home, and go talk to your mum. Alone," Harry said. His voice was serious and unwavering, a complete opposite of his normal nervous self.

Louis's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't lose Harry. But he couldn't lose his mum either. He sucked in a deep breath, thoughts running through his mind at a million miles a minute. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't. I have to do this."

Harry didn't hesitate. "That should clear up any confusion, then. Go play house with your fake girlfriend. Do whatever it takes to keep up this vision of your perfect life, no matter who you hurt in the process. I don't want anything to do with it anymore. Goodbye, Louis." Harry hung up the phone without even giving Louis the chance to talk his way back in again. And, just like the first time, Harry turned to one of the only two people he could trust. For the second time in his life, he texted Liam: I need you to get me drunk.

As the line went dead, Eleanor walked out of the store, completely oblivious to the fact that Louis's entire world had just been blown apart. He leaned his head back against the cold, stone wall of the building behind him, closed his eyes, and wished he was living in a different universe. A universe where he wasn't a selfish idiot. A universe where everything felt simpler. A universe where he could be with Harry.