Heartbreak Weather

Wrong Direction

I knew which song was coming next. It had been out for a couple of months by now, but I had always managed to avoid it, I had never felt ready to hear what he had to say. So I paused the music and took a couple of deep breaths. This was going to be hard. I never knew how he had felt after our falling out, I had never wanted to know. Listening to him singing about our history up to this point had been hard, hurtful and even crucial, but I had managed somehow, because I had known what was about to come. But now? Now I was blind, because I really didn't know what had been going on in Niall's life ever since.

Just when I felt ready and wanted to press play, my phone started to ring.

It was my friend Jonathan.

"Hey, what's up?", I picked up, trying to sound normal and not like I have just cried for thirty minutes straight.

"Hey, are you listening to the radio?" Jonathan asked excitedly, but I denied.

"You have to turn it on! They are playing Wrong Direction!" It felt like something inside of me just broke.

"Oh wow, that's great," I said without a motion on my face. "Thanks for telling me, I'll check it out."

"Everything okay?" Jonathan wondered and I swallowed hard.

"Yeah, perfectly fine. I'll talk to you later" and I hung up on him before he could answer.

Something in my chest where my heart was supposed to be clenched around a dark hole of nothing. It felt so empty. Because I remembered writing every single word of this song. And I remembered meaning every single word while crying my heart out.

Because I really couldn't hate him. But I hated all the pain he had caused. I hated how he had ruined everything without even blinking an eyelid.

-

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Niall's name popping up on my screen. He had been on tour for two weeks now and even though the different time zones had been difficult to handle, we had made it work. Every two or three days we tried to clear our morning or evening to talk to each other for a couple of hours. I did have to cancel on my friends two or three times and Niall did dodge his crew a couple of times when they wanted to go out and drink after a concert, but it had been a sacrifice we both had been more than willing to make.

But right now it was midday and I had a break from filming. And him calling right now could only mean one thing. He was back in Los Angeles. Finally.

"Hey Babe", I said through the speaker while I locked the phone between my cheek and my shoulder and walked down the set. "You're back?"

"I'm back" he confirmed and I could hear his grin through the phone. I also started to grin.

"Finally" I said what I just thought minutes ago. "I can't wait to see you again."

"Yeah, me too", he replied softly. "Are you in LA right now?"

"Nope, still in San Francisco, but I'll be back in two days or so," I lied. I would be back by tomorrow morning, but I wanted to surprise him. Treat him to a delicious breakfast.

"Oh", he said and sounded a bit disappointed. "Alright, I kind of hoped you'd be free tonight. I'm having some people from the crew over for a little 'have a nice break' party and I had hoped you would be there as well."

"I'm sorry Niall" I said and really meant it. I wish I could be there today. Meet some of the people I had heard so many stories about. But I've already pushed some appointments around to be able to leave one day earlier, so there really was no chance of leaving right now.