My Fairy Queen Anne

it feels like an open wound (all i want is you)

Anne

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Anne had just gotten home on 22nd of December, running to Marilla with open arms and a bright grin, despite everything. Sorrow weighed her down, but she compartmentalized. She vowed to not open that drawer until it was completely full. Another drawer of woe had already been opened when she realized that it would be their first Christmas without Matthew, and she couldn't handle if anything were piled on top of that. 

"Marilla," she sighed happily, squeezing her tightly to emphasize her affection and relishing Marilla's worn hand patting her hair affectionately. She didn't care that she wasn't the same little girl she had once been; motherly embraces would never get old. It was everything she had lacked as a child. Some claimed it to be embarrassing or humiliating, but Anne knew first hand that once it was gone, you would give your life to have it once more. She would give her life to hear Matthew's gruff and kindly laugh just one more time.

Marilla pulled away and held her at an arm's length, giving Anne's body a once over with her sky blue eyes. Anne found the idea that her, Matthew, and Marilla had eyes an almost similar shade of blue absolute felicity, even if they really looked nothing like each other. It was as if the universe had affirmed to her that they were meant to be her parents in spirit. 

"My word! You've grown even thinner! Is that old Blackmore woman even feeding you?" she exclaimed with a disapproving tsk. Anne didn't have the heart to tell her that it was her own decision to poke around her dinner instead of eating it the past couple of weeks. The depths of despair never really provided much of an appetite. 

"Yes, Marilla," she laughed, trying to summon a fragment of happiness. "I've just been... hard at work."

"That won't do. I'll have Jerry come in from the barn and we'll go to the Lacroixs' together for lunch. We have some news for the both of you." A jolt of comfort went through Anne at the thought. If anything, maybe some comfort food could help her stress eat her way out of this predicament, especially if she wasn't to see the Lacroixs for the rest of break for fear of running into Gilbert.

"Sounds wonderful."

They rode the eight miles back to Bright River, and Anne filled Marilla in about all the goings-on.

"I hear Ruby and the Spurgeon boy are particularly close. I heard Mrs. Gillis talking about some additions to Ruby's trousseau as she's positively sure that by the time the year closes out, she'll be sewing a wedding dress instead."

"Oh, Ruby isn't sure about that. She said that she'd like to, and Moody would like to, but you know how the two are. They need a little nudge."

"And what about you?" Marilla asked abruptly, noticing Anne stiffening. "It has been almost five months, and though I don't expect anything less than at least eighteen for marriage, you two must have at least broached the topic."

"Perhaps we did," she said curtly. "Either ways, it isn't going to happen any time soon.''

"Oh...Um, speaking of, Delphine's been asking for you," Marilla said with a smile, knowing the girl didn't want to approach the topic of Gilbert for some reason. She hoped they weren't having any troubles, but all couples did at some point. It was bound to happen. Any relationship going smoothly with no rough patches or inconsequential squabbles in the middle was almost impossible, but real love would get out of it stronger than before.

Anne melted at that, a small smile cracking her exterior. "How is my little Dellie?"

"She's learning quickly for a nine month old. She can stand independently, but falls when she tries to walk. She understands a couple words, but she repeats your name quite often whenever I'm around. She's come to form an association, and I suppose she misses your presence every day."