My Fairy Queen Anne

falling in love in the cruelest way

It was pitch dark outside and in the wee hours of morning, but Anne and Gilbert were still sitting on her porch, wrapped tight in blankets and holding steaming cups of coffee. Anne was sitting across from Gilbert, hair fluttering wildly in the wind as he admired her. 

They had been up talking for hours now, from everything from old anecdotes to random thoughts that crossed their head to just sitting in comfortable silence and looking up at the stars. And thankfully, Anne had sobered over the hours passed. A headache was starting to pound at her head, but she didn't care, not when her Gilbert was right in front of her. 

"What time is it?" Anne wondered. Both of them were wide awake, livened by the coffee and each other's presence.

Gilbert pulled a pocket watch from his coat and read out, "3:48."

"Oh Gilbert, are you sure you don't want to rest before the eight o'clock train? I won't think any less of you for saying so."

"Anne, I'm fine," he insisted. "I want to get in as much time as I can with you before I have to go."

"I'm glad," she said in a small voice. "Because I won't get to see you again till the holidays."

"Think of the bright side. We'll have two weeks all to ourselves, to spend with our families and with each other."

"I guess you're right... You know, I never anticipated having so much to talk about. I've never been pegged as a very fascinating person. Strange, but not fascinating."

"On the contrary, I could hold a conversation with you for years. And it's strange because just a moment ago, I had the oddest little thought. In the three years we've been acquainted, I've somehow picked up on all your moods and tells and the little things about your personality, but there's still so much surface level stuff I don't know about you, like your favorite colors or artists. After all, our friendship was tentative after Trinidad. I know you so well, but I don't know you at all."

Anne didn't say anything and simply moved herself to sit next to him, huddling in the blanket and leaning her head on his shoulder. He placed his head on hers, and they talked for hours longer, parting only after watching the sun rise over the pasture.

It was 6:45 when the sun was shining blindingly and the couple parted ways and snuck into their respective beds in their own houses, but not for long.

Anne saw him off at Bright River.

"I love you, Gilbert. Write as soon as you're back, okay?"

"Of course. I love you, my Anne."

Anne let out a soft strangled sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh. 

"Goodbye, my Gilbert."

"Bye, Anne." He pressed another long and scorching kiss to her lips before hopping on the train. Alex was already on the train, claiming he needed to get started on the letter as soon as possible.

"Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own," he called, sticking his head out through a window. Anne paused in confusion before melting. Her favorite book, Jane Eyre, he had remembered.

"We were together—all else has long been forgotten by me," she replied, blowing a kiss back. Whitman, his father's favorite. He smiled tearfully, his heart breaking another time with every step of distance he put between them. 

Just like that, the train was riding away, taking half her heart with it. As soon as she started to walk back to the wagon waiting for her, the half of her ripped away was substituted with a gnawing numbness. A catatonic state of defense to save herself the pain.