He's My Savior

Seventeen

Frost

"Dr. Dorian?" I looked up from my desk, finding a nurse standing there. "You're not answering your pages-"

"I put Falkin on trauma lead today."

"Falkin had an accident in surgery. Intern stabbed his hand with Epi by mistake." I sighed, getting up.

"Patient still under?"

"No, patient died. Too much damage. Neuro stepped in to try to control the bleeding. Lacerated liver, ruptured spleen, damage to the aorta." I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Then put our lead resident in charge for the day. Ngo has been begging for some authority, and he knows my trauma protocols." She didn't answer. "Let me guess-"

"He's out. Wife had a baby." I cursed. My mindset was not in the right place for surgeries today. It was all on fucking Shawn.

"Do we have anything incoming right now?"

"No, but a few doctors could use some extra hands if you're available. You're the best at having to throw stitches at awkward angles." I nodded.

"Okay."

*

Her words rang in my head... and she was also wrong and right at the same time. I had waited over a year for her to call. I waited over a year to hear her voice.

But I found her in bed with the Marvel twins.

Maybe she was telling the truth, even though they had history together, or she was lying.

Shawn never lied about things that happened, save for her damn anemia.

But one seed of mistrust leads to a crop of it.

I needed a therapy session before I totally lost it. Luckily, the hospital had some excellent psychologists that would take me in a heartbeat.

I let it all out. Ranting for almost twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of a 40 minute session. It was the same doctor she had all those years ago when she was put on a 51-50.

"Shawn closed herself off because it's her defense mechanism... Her response opposite of that is anger. What did you expect was going to happen?" Dr. Camilla tapped her pen. "We're not here to talk about her, even though that seems to be the root of your anger. Maybe something you did tipped her off, making her run to Jeremy and Jason."

"I haven't-" I stopped mid sentence. "The phone call. Fucking hell, she heard Hannah." I rubbed my face.

"That's probably why she ran back to where she felt safe... and you're jealous because that safe spot used to be you." I gnawed at this inside of my lip, holding back a retort. She only felt safe with them because all they did was fuck.

"I'm not jealous."

"Au contraire, yes you are. You're jealous because she had slept with them in the past... but you didn't." I rubbed my face. "You had planned on it. You waited awhile. But instead-"

"I waited for her for nineteen months." I gritted out. "I waited nineteen months for her to come back. You know what a long time without sex does to a person."

"It can make people frustrated, I understand." She looked at me. "But to me, it seems you decided instead of actively looking for her, and trying to talk, or keep her attention, you gave up."

That was bullshit. I had put out many numerous missing reports, but the VA confirmed she made every appointment, shutting it down very quickly. We tried tracking her phone, but she changed her iCloud password and shut down the Find My iPhone tracker.