Carl Grimes One Shots (carl x reader)

Finally Feel Safe

Warning: Small mentions of sexual abuse and like a mention of suicide but not really?

Okay a couple things about Carl's death (the way I'm talking about it you'd think I watched it yesterday lol it was so long ago). First, I'm still crying over it but "At the Bottom of Everything" by Bright Eyes is legit like my favorite song right now. This song is played at the beginning of Season 8 Episode 9 when Carl basically prepares for his death. I keep having to tell myself 'he's a fictional character, Chandler's alive and well and I can literally watch him on Twitch'. Second, I have an idea of writing an imagine where Carl dies like the whole scene basically but with Y/N in it, but I honestly cannot bring myself to write it. I just can't. I have to make myself stop picturing it or else I'll cry. So yeah, I'm most likely scrapping that idea because my emotional well-being cannot handle it. Sorry this was a really long intro that no one's probably going to read but it had to be said haha. Love you all :)

"She still awake?" I hear Rick whisper to Carl as I'm curled up in the corner on the mattress. I'm assuming Carl nods because I then hear Rick sigh. "Has she at least eaten anything? Drink anything?" This time Carl must have shook his head because I hear Rick sigh again louder this time. 

"I just wish one of us would have been there, Dad. Before it happened," Carl says.

"Yeah, I know. Me too."

I shift a little bit in the corner and I see Carl and Rick turn their heads toward me. "I can hear you," I mumble. 

"Y/N you need to eat or at least drink some water," Rick tells me. 

"I'm not hungry," I insist, turning back around to face the wall. I hear the shuffling sound of someone standing up and a soft 'Carl' come out of Rick's mouth. Carl sits back down and I am honestly relieved. 

I haven't done anything for the past two days except sit and stare at the wall. Even though I know I am now safe, I am still scared to go to sleep. Rick, Daryl, Carl, and Glenn saved me from them after a week of torture, sexual abuse, and harassment with little food and water. But now I've lost my appetite and I've lost my sense of self. I'm covered in bruises and cuts, but the scar that will take the longest time to heal is the fact that they treated me like an object, like I wasn't human. They were laughing while they were doing it. I was trying not to cry and be brave, but that made them even more angry resulting in more sexual abuse. 

They're all dead now, though. I asked Glenn how they were killed but all he told me was 'they got what they deserved'. Now we're living in this shack before we gather enough supplies to search for a new semi-permanent 'home'. I have a blanket wrapped loosely around my waist and covering my legs. I'm still cold but I don't have the energy to put on more layers or get more blankets, and I refuse to ask someone for help. 

"Can you watch her?" Rick asks Carl. "I have to go talk to Daryl, he's outside."

"Yeah," Carl says. I hear Rick's footsteps across the wooden floor and the door open, then shut with a creak. 

"You don't have to watch me," I tell Carl. "I'm not a kid."

Carl sighs. "Yeah, but you're worrying us. You haven't moved in the past two days and-"

"And you think I'm going to kill myself?" I question sarcastically. 

Carl pauses for a moment and then replies with, "It is a thought that crossed our minds. But we also want you to feel safe."

"Carl I'm not thinking of suicide, I promise. And I don't want you guys to have to worry about who's going to watch me. I'm fine by myself."

"You're going to die by yourself! You're not eating, drinking, or sleeping and you're scaring the shit out of me! I'm- Y/n, I'm worried I'll wake up one day and you'll be laying there not moving and..." he trails off.