alaska | grey's anatomy

⇢ CHAPTER 56

Alex rolled his sleeves up, preparing to stand up and defend Holly before the woman turned around herself and stared at the interns, seeing how their eyes widened, "Do you want to say it to my face or do you want to be on scut for a week?" Holly asked, using her Chief Resident powers to her advantage as the doctors remained silent, "A month?"

The curious intern who posed the question attempted to speak, "I--"

"Scram." At hearing Holly's order, the interns ran away. Holly sighed, blinking tightly before turning back to Alex and Jackson and continued to eat her salad. 

Jackson and Alex shared a look before Alex cleared his throat, "Holl--"

"I'm okay." Holly gave the two a tightened smile before closing her eyes, taking a deep sigh before walking away. 

Jackson looked at Alex before shaking his head and following her, muttering, "No, she's not."

By the time Jackson arrived at the supply closet Holly hid in, she already had her back facing him as she shook-- and it wasn't until he was a few steps away from her that he heard her laughing.

"Holl--" He questioned, stepping closer to her.

"It's just--" Holly choked on her laughter as she turned around, showing her tear stained cheeks and water-filled eyes, "so funny." She sniffled, "Lexie's dead, like, actually gone. Mark is dying. Cristina isn't here-- April isn't here, George isn't here, Izzie's gone and I'm--" Holly chuckled, wiping off her tears as her voice broke, "I'm the crazy one that still is."

"Holly." Jackson stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Holly's tearful eyes softly gazed up at Jackson's before she shook her head, "I'm not going crazy again, Jackson."

"I wasn't saying you were or are," Jackson defended, knowing how much her sisters called her that when she was back at home, "I'm just checking up on you-- it's normal for people to check up on each other."

Holly sighed, brushing aside his hand on her shoulder as she leant against the wall, "I just..." She shook her head, recalling the intern voices, "I feel like I hear them all the time, everyday, the whispers and mutters whenever I walk down a hallway." She shrugged, "I've been here for a month and all people do is stop and stare."

"They're just intimidated," Jackson assured, leaning on the wall next to her, "by your amazing surgical skills."

Holly squinted at him before correcting, "They stare because I went crazy."

"You didn't go crazy, Holl." Jackson shook his head as he got off of the wall to stand in front of her, not wanting her to think of herself that way, "You lost someone and you had an appropriate response."

Holly looked up at him, realizing the close space between them as she muttered softly, "I guess."

The two held eye contact, feeling gravity begin to softly pull the two together until Alex came into the closet-- hands rushing around the intern's body making the two groan, "Oh, my God." 

"Oh," Alex cringed as he moved his head to his friends and the intern pulled her shirt back down, "hey, guys."

"Yeah," Holly rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed that the moment was gone-- again, "hey."

✧

Standing at the Nurse's Station in front of Mark's room, Holly glanced at her clock before taking a deep sigh-- deciding it was time to enter the room she had been avoiding.

"Dr. Webber," Holly cleared her throat, seeing the man sitting next to Mark, "it's time." 

"Oh." Dr. Webber nodded, knowing it was time to alert Callie and Derek, "I'll get them now."

"Okay." Holly softly spoke as she nodded, watching him walk out of the room before her eyes landed on the man who rested peacefully on his deathbed, the man who took her under his wing and treated her like a daughter-- the man she abandoned, or rather, couldn't get to in time. 

Holly closed her eyes tightly, trying to fight the tears that threatened to fall as she turned around quickly to leave the room. Her hand was on the handle of the sliding door as her legs grew stiff, hesitant to leave. With an exhale, Holly closed the door and walked forward.

She cleared her throat, preparing to speak, "H-Hey." She cleared her throat again, "...I'm sorry I couldn't visit you sooner-- or when you were awake... I was, uh, well," She sat down, remembering Jackson had informed Mark when he was awake where Holly was "you know where I was." Holly ran a hand through her face before placing the other on Mark's cold hand, "If you want to come back and give everyone an extra goodbye, that'd be cool." 

Her eyes teared, recalling how she found out Mark had gone back into a coma.

"Um," Holly cleared her throat again, "I know she's waiting for you, so, uh, I got the troops covered." Holly sadly smiled, trying to get Mark comfortable with the idea of dying if it meant he'd be reunited with Lexie, "Derek, Callie, and Jackson-- I'm here now, and I've got them, so you can go." She sniffled, patting his hand as she chuckled, "I don't think I'll ever get used to anyone else calling me Red." She brushed off her tears and shrugged, remembering the other person who called her that once, "Okay, maybe only the Plastics Posse can use it." 

There was a soft silence that filled the room, a comforting one as she wiped her eyes and stood upon hearing footsteps approaching.

"You're gonna meet the big man soon." Holly smiled, sending out a quick prayer for Mark in her head before she glanced back at him, "I'm gonna miss you."

Holly's head quickly turned as she saw Dr. Webber open the door for Derek and Callie to enter.

"Doctors." Holly nodded her head at them before she began to head to Jackson, who was waiting outside with Meredith and Dr. Bailey, until Callie lightly grabbed her arm.

"Kepner," Callie voiced, knowing Holly deserved to be inside the room as much as they were, "you can stay."

Holly shared a look with Derek before looking back at Callie, "I'm gonna sit outside with Jackson. I, uh," She looked at Mark, "I've said my goodbyes." 

Callie nodded, realizing it may have been harder for her to stay as she let go of her and listened to Webber's words as Holly sat next to Jackson outside.

Holly's eyes softly examined Jackson's face, noticing his tired eyes that threatened to water before she looked down and placed a hand on top of his and averted her eyes back inside the room-- feeling Jackson interlace their fingers as his eyes continued to glance at his mentor.

It seemed that even in his dying breath, Mark's mission to get the two together was beginning to work.

✧✧✧

just in case y'all were confused, holly says she "couldn't get to mark in time" because she wasn't at the hospital when he was awake, where was she? you'll see next chapter... 👁 

NEXT CHAPTER IS A HUGE CHAPTER! it's all about the aftermath of the crash and healing and JOLLY MOMENTS-- I-- but there is a trigger warning in the beginning so... yeah.. it's rough :{ i'll have an author's note at the end of the chapter discussing everything that happens during that trigger warning in case y'all are triggered by what happens-- don't force yourself to read it to find out what happens if it triggers you, i've got you covered :}

i'm sorry for the late update :{ i was writing for my other book and i lost track of time but i hope you guys liked the chapter :}