Ocean Eyes - KNJ

10

Namjoon

I work myself to the bone, dancing hard, as the group practices the dance for Dionysus again in the practise room. Ash and I are able to separate for longer spans of time now, so she's in her studio, working on some new songs with Eunbi. I'm not exactly worried about leaving her alone in the company: there's no way anyone will be able to kidnap her with all the security.

But even still, a growing fear has been festering inside me for the past few days. I feel like time is running out and I could lose her any second. Ontop of that, my feelings have developed so much, I'm now sure that I'm in love with her.

"Alright, let's take a break." Hoseok calls and everyone either flops onto the floor or goes over to their bags to get water. I just stand there, brushing my sweaty hair out of my eyes.

Suddenly I'm hit with an overwhelming dizziness and I feel like my chest is constricting. I reach my hand up and clutch at my chest, my breathing becoming more uneven and it feels like the world is crashing down around me. My breaths get more and more panicked, a desperate feeling of pure fear filling me up to the core.

The rest of the group have stopped what they're doing and Hoseok's coming over to me, but I push past him, instantly feeling like my heart's going to explode out of my chest. The air in the practice room disappears, like it's been sucked out.

"....... Need free air........" I choke out and race out of the room. I run down the corridor, going to the stairs, not stopping until I'm bursting out onto the roof, the cold sting of the wind whipping around me. I stagger forwards, before collapsing, my knees coming into contact with the cold stone. I lower my head, heaving in clear breaths, my heart slowly steadying.

A loud sound comes from behind me and I hear someone running towards me.

"Joon! What's going on?! Are you alright?!"

I don't answer Ash, who is crouching down next me, worry written in her blue eyes. I nod my head, but look away, not meeting her gaze.

"What happened?" She asks gently, but I shake my head.

"Nothing." I reply, keeping my voice straight.

"Joon?"

"I'm fine." I keep my tone emotionless.

I hear the door open again and another set of footsteps sounds across the roof.

"Ash?" I hear Yoongi say, "How is he?"

"He's fine. If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to."

Ash gets up and walks out of my line of vision, the quickness and harshness of her steps almost breaking my resolve. If I distance myself from her, then maybe this Mono won't think about taking her. It's a stupid plan, but it's the only thing my deprived mind can come up with.

"What the hell was that?!" Yoongi says to me, his voice pissed off.

"I was just finding it hard to bre-"

"No, that!" He says, crouching next to me and pointing to behind me, "What did you say to her?!"

The anger and fury in his voice cracks me and I slump down further against the stone.

"H-Hyung," I say, turning to look at Yoongi, who is glaring at me, "Promise me y-you'll protect A-Ash..."

"What, are you leaving or something?" He says tauntingly, an angry smirk on his face, but stops when I suddenly reach out and grip onto his hand.

"P-Promise me. P-Please."

Yoongi's eyes widen when he sees that I'm deadly serious.

"Y-You're not actually leaving are you?"