Broken Souls

Broken

~Chapter Nineteen~

The music vibrated at the center of her chest and it spread, loosening the knots in her body. Terry moved her feet to the music, swayed her hips and simply enjoyed her night out to herself. Many men had offered to take her to dance but she had declined every single one of them. Tonight was her night, Terry's night, and she would be greedy. Her time was only for herself not to share with anyone else, and so while the crowd danced so did she, avoiding anyone trying to pry their way into her moment. When the music slowed, she stopped dancing and quickly made her way over to the bar and ordered a few drinks. When she was ready to call it a night she took her coat, adjusted her purse over her shoulder and made her way out the door.

"Excuse me miss? Are you Terry Burk?" a clubber asked, Terry denied any truth in her question and quickly hurried to get away. The last thing she wanted was any more articles being printed out of her. When she was certain she lost the woman who had asked her that simple question she took her seat on the bus stop and wrapped her arms around herself. It was maybe time for her to get her own car, but then she would need to learn how to drive. Terry never could master the skill and she feared that maybe it would become the death of her one day. It was probably a stupid paranoia of hers but she couldn't shake it.

She felt safer next to the wheel not behind it, there was no real reason why she could never learn, and she guessed she simply lacked the knowledge or the strength. Aside from that tragedy, she had managed to do pretty good for herself. During her lunch hour, she had gone to a few stores and bought herself mounds and mounds of clothes. Now her closet laid full of brand new dresses, shimmery tops, leggings and the newest pair of high heels the store had just brought in.

In the end, she did not feel good about it at all. A shopping spree should have done her good, but the fact was that she still felt the same. Was there a remedy she could take for jealousy, or the need, the greed, to want someone so badly that it broke her heart knowing that she could never have them? Of course not, the only medication for something like that was facing the facts and moving on, much like pouring alcohol on an open wound. It was painful but so very true and real.

She took a seat as the air brushed her face, making Terry bundle up even more as she looked down to her brand new heels and frowned. Soon after a black limo slowly pulled up and her heart constricted while her gut knotted. She stood and adjusted her dress, feeling her palms sweat although it was chilly outside. When the window rolled down she peeped through the tinted glass only to see an elderly man grin at her.

"How much doll?"

Her jaw dropped and she felt anger consume her, she was not a prostitute!

"I'll have you know that I am a police officer undercover and if you don't beat it, the only thing warming you at night will be your prison buddy." She sneered.

The old man's eyes widen and he quickly signaled the driver to go as Terry glared in the speeding limo's direction. She gave a small sigh and sat back down, waiting for the bus to arrive. It was nearly nine at night, and truth be told this was the time when everyone began to party. All she wanted to do was go upstairs, bundle up in a pair of nice warm pajamas, and snuggle into her bed. Dreaming helped for just a little while, but other than that, once she woke reality once again began.

********

The morning sun peered through her office window and Terry stood to shut the blinds, not wanting any sun light to invade her office today. She did not know if she had woken on the wrong side of the bed or if she simply was mad because she was forced to forget. The only light that gave any indication that she sat in her office was a small illuminated lamp that stood at one side of the lazy boy couch far from her. Locking her door she had asked not to be disturbed, she refused to hear just how dandy Garrett's date had gone last night. It was a childish thing to do, she was acting like she was sixteen, but love made you blind and completely powerless to fight what began to grow inside your heart.

She hated it.

"I'm better than this." She muttered. She stood and walked towards her door, reaching to unlock it and finally let the sun in. The loud knock on the other side made her jump and she retreated a few steps as her hands clasped over her heart.

"Terry? It's Garrett, could I come in?"

"Garrett." She whispered, but not enough for him to hear.

"Terry?"

She bit her lip and reached for the handle as a dilemma took battle in her heart. Maybe Garrett would not even talk about his date, not unless Terry asked him about it. That is all she had to do, keep her mouth shut and not ask any questions. She took a deep breath and felt suddenly idiotic for acting so dumb. What was this man doing to her? She turned the handle and opened the door, greeting Garrett with a fake bright smile.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

He said nothing for a moment as he made his way inside the office and neared her window slowly pushing the curtains to a side.

"What is it?" she asked.

He gazed out the window, watching as all the pedestrians looked like tiny little ants walking out forty feet below. He sighed and turned to look at her, his eyes searching hers as he leant casually against the window.

"Fin told me you canceled you date last night." He began.

She froze but tried to hold the smile on her face as she slowly walked towards her desk and took a seat.

"Yeah, I did, I figured it was time to put before me what mattered most, and between my heart and work...well let's just say I wish I could put my heart first, but the thing is, it's been on the front line for so many years, and it's beginning to weaken with every blow it takes. My work has a steady wall that will withstand anything that comes it way, so I figured it is time to put it first. I can't divide my brain, most of the time I'm sulking on about how miserable my life is, but do you know what I'm doing? I sound like I pity myself every time I complain about it." she said. She took a deep breath, she really had not meant to explain everything to him, but somehow it felt right to do.

"Terry, don't you think that last night could have been thee night you met him?" he asked.

"I can't keep telling myself that Garrett, every time I lie to myself it turns out being just a fluke, and the guy want nothing more than to get laid." She muttered.

"Does every guy have to fit your perfect list! No one will ever own up to that because there is no such thing as the perfect match. People go through thick and thin together and it's the love they hold for each other that makes them stay together. Without love there is nothing, you need to simply give that person an opportunity, find something in them other than expect. Try finding something different other than flaws. Of course, every guy wants to get laid! Its how all men think! But if your respectful and show them there is so much more to you they eventually they will forget because they will find themselves feeling something they never expected!" he snapped.

Her eyes widen with surprise to see him snap on her like that. It was evident to see that she had begun to get on his nerves and she felt simply shameful for it. Terry lowered her head and nodded, feeling her stomach knot in completely humiliation. Leave it to Garrett to give her a lecture.

"You're right Garrett, in so many levels, but I just can't." she whispered.

"Terry...I waited for you for nearly an hour and you never showed up...you stood me up. I know you did not know it was me...but now I know what you think, and clearly I don't have chance with you. I think it's best that we find out separate ways." He muttered.

Terry jerked her head up to find him walking out of her office and tears spilled. She was in shock, clear and utter shock. For the second time she watched as Garrett walked out of her life. Her stomach spinned and she settled back into her chair feeling her world crumble over her.