Love Me Cancer

Honored Shock

@@@@@----Riley.

I smiled holding Zackary's hand in mine. I was about to go up and do the speech I wrote.. but the scary this is.. I didn't write one. I was too busy planing for plan:sneak out to have my final dance. So.. I have to speak from my heart.. or.. my head? I haven't chosen yet...

Dr. Workman was up. Standing on stage smiling at the room filled with people.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Lilly Ann Workman, and most of you wonder how, this happens? Well I'll tell you."

"Leukemia is cancer of the white blood cells. White blood cells help your body fight infection. Your blood cells form in your bone marrow. In leukemia, however, the bone marrow produces abnormal white blood cells. These cells crowd out the healthy blood cells, making it hard for blood to do its work. In acute leukemia, there are too many of specific types of white blood cells called lymphocytes or lymphoblasts." Dr. Workman smiled at me and nodded. "I'd like to welcome Riley Payton." I kissed Zackary on a cheek as I let go of his hand walking up to the stage. "Riley, came into my office, unknowing what was wrong with her.. Thought she had a simple cold, to find out.. she has acute leukemia in the brain, she has had leukemia for three years.. maybe even more than that.. and she didn't even know. Now like all teenagers, she had a life.. she had friends.. a boy whom she liked.. and other problems in which we all have.. and plus she was deathly ill with this horrid cancer. She's the youngest child within this town with cancer, and out of 527 others with cancer.. she has lived the longest." She reached out for my hand, as I grabbed it. "Please.. welcome Riley Payton to a speech."

Everyone clapped as I stood with camera's fliming me. I smiled talking the stand.

"It's not easy., being told that you have cancer, of any kind. 'But it helps.. when you have someone with you, to hold your hand.. to walk with you. My mother died of acute leukemia when I was eight, four years later my father left me.. because he couldn't take care of a child that reminded him of so many memories. When I found out that I had cancer.. the first thing I thought about.. was that I was alone, for the worst ride of my lifetime.."

I gleamed around the room seeing the most important people in my life, as I smiled. "I soon found out that I wasn't alone as I thought I was.." I looked until I saw Cassy. SHE CAME! "I had my best friend Cassy, A new friend in which I'm so thankful for Lexi, My wonderful boyfriend Zackary, William whom has been with Zack.. because sometimes I tend to get a little depressing." I laughed then turned to stare at Dr. Workman. "And most of all.. Dr. Workman, she's been here for me more than all.. as a doctor, friend, and like my other mother.." I saw her face glow with light..

I faced the crowed.. "Before my mother died.. when we found out that she had leukemia.. I really didn't know how it felt because she'd alway's smile.. and act as if nothing hurt. It was like she wasn't afraid.. wasn't scared."

"The thing is.. we all have a monster inside us, to bring us down, to tear us apart. But.. we never stop fighting.. trying to overcome ourselves.. to be better than we are."

%%%%%%-----Zack

Riley was giving her speech, and I gotta say; it was the best one of the day. Then again it could be because I have a thing for her...

I watched her say a'loud her feelings, with a bright glow in her eyes. She's amazing, even changed my father.. I can't believe he came here today.

I watched as she kept on speaking.

"Try knowing that no matter how hard you fight.. you'll end up losing anyway.. because the monster inside me.. ain't only fighting back, but it's winning. Here I am.. knowing that I'm going to die.. trying to act as if it doesn't bother me.. trying to be strong.. but the thing is.. I'm not." She smiled at me. That's when I saw it. Something was wrong...

"It's hard.. but I'm happy... and those of you who has cancer.. who is scared, just know that there are other's like you. Going through the same thing, if not worse.. so.. don't give in.. just because cancer's winning... because the truth is.. you're winning, for losing."

Everyone clapped and cheered.

********************************************

Dr. Workman told us that we could take Riley out, for her doing a great job today.

I took her to Applebees, then we went to Cup Cake Freedom.

****

We were walking out and I knew that something was bothering Riley, I could see it when she was giving her speech. I didn't know what was wrong so I asked her. "Hey. Are you feeling well?"

"Yeah.. I mean.. I'm not sure? My head is hurting, but when is it not? My chest feels like it's caving in, but that could be because I ate so much... I don't know.. it just doesn't feel right.." Riley gave me a confused look.. and I started to worry.

"Well, I'll take you to the hospital so you can get checked out." I put my hand into her's, trying to tell her it'll be okay..

@@@@@@-------Riley

Zack took me back to the hospital to get checked out. I told him that my chest hurt along with my head.. but that wasn't the only thing.. Everything hurt.

Dr. Workman took me in the back to do some text, telling me how I shouldn't of sunk out to only go to a ball, which was probably why I felt like this.

It felt like hours.. of waiting to see if it was just my cancer fighting some more.. or something totally different.

Dr. Workman came into my room with two other Dr.s. I gave her a confused look... she closed her eyes. No... That meant bad news...

"Riley." Lilly went on. "When your Cat-scan came in.. we found something.."

I took a deep breath, and smiled, trying to hide how scared and worried I was. "Tell me."

"Your cancer has moved.. it is not only in your brain, but you also have a cyst in your lungs.. we can do surgery to remove it, but it can come back.. but if I were you.. I'd take a chance and do the surgery, it'll help."

I shook my head. "No. I don't want it."

"Riley.. why?" Dr. Workman's voice asked in a soft huff.

I closed my eyes. "Because.. if I take the surgery.. it'll only make me weaker than I am.. then it could come back.. then I'd be in the same position that I am now." I felt my eyes starting to water, but I held them back, because I know that if I started to cry, I wouldn't be able to stop. Can this serious be happening to me?

After they left, tears fled down, unable to stop.

I pulled out my notebook with my pen and started to write. Writing, letter after letter.. this was it..

I had to pack.. because I was moving.. sooner than I thought..