Love Me Cancer

BitterSweet Tea Cup

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! So happy to be out. Cassy and I'm going to the movies after school today, and this weekend her dad's paying for a day at the spa! I've also signed up for the summer play and helping out with the nursing home. 

 ***  

The day was going perfect.. that is until I went to the bathroom before second block. I heard a sobbing cry, I opened the stall to see Lexi in tears. I wanted to laugh in her face.. but something else held me back. Sorrow. I leaned down until I was on my knees.. "Lexi?" I begged.   

Her eyes flushed when she looked up to find my face. "Oh, what do you want? A good laugh?"    There was something in Lexi's eyes that told me she was really hurt, and didn't care who saw her like this. She's brave, to not care how people see her, she was so comfortable being her, and I couldn't help but be a little jealous.

"No." I whispered. "I just want to help." I commented.  

"Yeah. You. Help me." Lexi shook her head. "You hate me."  

"Your wrong." I gave a fact. To tell you the truth.. I didn't really know Lexi to hate her. She wasn't my favorite person in the world.. but I didn't hate her.   

"Well.. I hate you." She stated not looking at me.   

I nodded my head feeling her words were true. "That's why you can talk to me about it.. we're not close.. so you won't have to explain anything.." My knees gave in, I found myself setting in the stall in front of Lexi.

  "You." Lexi got out... "You have him." Him. It didn't take me two seconds to know who she was talking about. Zack. I took a breath. She was crying over her break up with him.. even on the outside to everyone she smiled. She cracked, she finally broke down.

"Oh." I got out.  

Lexi looked up at me. "I don't get it." She waved her head slow. "Why you over me? I've known him for four years now.." Tears started at her eyes again. "He's never even looked at you! He didn't know you were alive!" I wanted to cry.. it was like her feelings came to me as she spilled them out of her mouth. "You have him now, and I will never have him again.!" Lexi screamed. "The way he looks at you.. he's never looked at me in that way... He loves you." Lexi took a deep breath with a little sob. "He won't let you go. Do you know that? He won't give up, if you try to break free.. he'll always try to get you back. That's just Connor..."  

That was it.. tears were going to come from my eyes. If only she knew! Even if what she said was true.. He had to give up., because I won't be here forever. "Lexi.." I was going to leave.. and no one would know until I was gone what was really wrong with me. "No." I got out before tears come out. "I'm leaving.. the days are passing.. and soon he won't ever see me again." No one will.  

Her eyes gave me a confused look. "You're moving?" She asked.   

I nodded my head. Moving on from this life. This hit me like a wave.. I was dieing. "Yeah... I'm moving.."   

"When?" Lexi asked.. "Why?"   That was that million dollar question. Why? Even I didn't know that.. who could?

I thought of something.. "I don't know when.. maybe in the next two years or so.. or even sooner than that." I toned my voice down to a soft mumble.. where Lexi and I could only hear. "I have a plan."  

Her tears stopped to her face steaming up. "So you're going to leave him?!" Questioning with a harsh tone.   

Yes. I didn't have a chioce.. I looked at Lexi, how a tear fell from my eyes. "I don't want too."

    %%%%%%%%-------Zack  

"So. You really like her?" Will asked.  

I couldn't help but smile. It's been a month since I've been with Riley... and I've never been happier. "Yeah.. I do."