Love Me Cancer

Knowing What I Wanted.

We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it, And I'm willing to die for my life.. I know it sounds funny.. but in reality.. it's all I've ever wanted.. a house, my mom.. smiling as she cooks, talking to me about my boy problems, and to hold my hand when I'm scared. A father, who will take up for me, be my best friend, and tell me I can't be out pass midnight, making be mad to holding me when I cry.. all I've wanted was to be happy.. have a normal life. Right when I thought things where going to turn around.. it all comes back down on me.. ten times worst. Right when I thought Zack and I was going to work.. trying so hard to make it work.. just to find out that it'll never work. I remembering me having all of these dreams.. to me and mom talking about me having a fairy-tale wedding to dad and I talking about me going to collage, traveling the world.. going to London; just to find out that I won't ever make it to collage.

***

I walked around my house with images running through my head. Maybe I didn't deserve to be happy..? Maybe God.. hated me? I've always went to church.. I remember going before mom dieing, and even after.. but after dad left I stopped. Maybe God wants me for his self? Maybe he has a greater plan? I took a breath and closed my eyes..

I had to think of a way: Write down what I wanted: I had to limit out the things I knew.. which was nothing.. perfect..

Thinking of Cassy.. how will I tell her? Nevermore how will I tell Zack? And there was no way that I'd tell Matt and his father.. they'd want to help, and they have done more than enough. 

%%%%%%%%------------Zack

"Have you heard anything else?" I asked worried. 

Cassy shook her head. "No, and I don't know where she lives.. so I can't-"

"I know." I spatted out remembering all the times I've walked her home. Knowing the shadowed house figure at night, I didn't go inside or even get a really good look on the outside.. but I knew where it was. "I've walked her home from work." I stated to answer the unsaid question Cassy held in.

"So we can go to her house.! I called the hostpal, they said she left two days ago." Cassy stood up with a smile.

                                                                                         *** 

After school Cassy and myself drove to Riley's house. We were going down River's Bane when Cassy asked the most awkward question ever, "What do you plan to do with Riley?"

I looked at the girl setting in my car with her eyes wide. "What do you mean?" Not knowing what she was really asking.

"Well.. most guys these days only want one thing.. if you know what I mean, and if you're planing to do that with Riley then your plan is down the drain." I laughed at was Cassy what saying to me, I couldn't help it.. she was having 'The Talk' with me. 

"Umm.." I got out before she cut me off.. 

" She doesn't like showing her feelings.. but then when you're around her face shines.. and that one day when Lexi posted the flier all over school.. she didn't even look at me.. but you came and she opened up.." Cassy started to play with her fingers.. she seemed upset, "I know she likes you.. but I don't want you to hurt her.." 

I took a breath, kinda feeling what she said. "I like her." I stated, I've seen the glow Cassy was talking about.. "I know I'm the type of guy who would want to.. you know." I took a glance at Cassy before returning my eyes on the road. "Did Riley ever tell you how we met?" I asked.

There was slince before I heard Cassy's voice. "Riley don't tell me much of anything." Soft and calm.

"It was at the Winter dance." I remember it like it was yesterday. "Lexi got in a fight with Amy, well me being me tried to break it up when Amy's boyfriend stepped in. I ended up fighting him. No one won because the teacher's broke it up, but we both were bleeding. I was in one half of the nurses room how he was in the other half." I turned down Breach Street, about eight miles to go.