SEVEN DAYS

¦BOOK II¦- 19~ A Test Of Friendship

"I OD-ed six months ago." Charlotte let out quietly

"What?" Raven gasped

"That was the first time" Charlotte continued on, as if Raven's gasp hadn't affect her

"The second time I overdosed, was there months ago. At that point, I was lucky to even be alive. No, it wasn't luck. Ha! Who am I kidding? Luck doesn't happen to people like me. Raphael saved me. I could have died..."

"Charlotte..." Raven hadn't realized she had been at the verge of crying, until the tears started falling uncontrollably down her cheeks.

"Where was I- when this happened? Was I so far away, you could not let out a single word to me? Charlotte if something went wrong, if you were ever hurting in any way, why wouldn't you have come to me? If... If I were the one, you would have been the first person I ran screaming to"

"Would I have been? Would I really have been the first person you ran to? Think about the carefully Raven, before you reply. No, don't even reply it, I don't need it. But guess what? I did come to you! I did scream out to you when I tried to commit suicide! That was my way of telling you that I wanted to be noticed. That was my voice! I overdosed the first time, but guess what? I was still too invincible for you. It didn't matter. You didn't care. You didn't notice. I did it the second time, yeah you guessed it, it still didn't matter! Because you still...Just...didn't care. I remained invincible."

"Charlotte..."

"Don't look at me so strangely Raven. I'm not suicidal. I never really was. I enjoy life way too much to end it forever. I mean what if I changed my mind half down the line and decide I don't want to be eternally dead any longer? Would there be a way for me to come back to being alive? Of course not. Death is too permanent a decision to make when you're angry and feeling volatile, exactly like I've been feeling, for at least the past six months. Then, the drugs..."

"Charlotte, I never even knew you were using those stuff to start with. I know you were always wild but you drew a line at drugs. You always did..."

"Yeah well, until I didn't. It started the day I woke up one morning, in a bar, instead of the bed I thought I'd be in. Turns out I'd drunk all night, made out with three different guys, slept with two of them at a corner of the bar, and dozed off. But they'd left. Everyone... Had left. No one thought to wake me up, no one thought to call a cab for the unknown girl they'd just drunked with and fucked with all night, my personal belongings had been stolen even, seemed to me that the guys that fucked me, decided to well, Fuck Me up even further by bleeding me dry and stealing all my cash. And it dawned on me, the irony, you know, that a male would pay billions of dollars just to get one girl in his bed, fuck her, keep her there, satiated and happy, while another male would thoroughly fuck a girl in a strange bar, and then steal from her; I mean, leaving her dead even for all he cared. And it kept bugging my mind that day, six months ago, what was the difference between both scenarios? What did the first girl have, that the other didn't? I wondered. They were both males with penises, the females had the same sets of tits and arse. But why would one male treat a single female like a queen, and the other treat her like little more than scum? Did I figure out the answer that same day? I'm not sure. But all I knew that day, was that I couldn't go on living the way I'd been living. I'd die out. I would fade out, and no one would care. Not even you. But I had no way to stop, you see. No anchor to pull me back. No one to pull me back. I'd lost all independent control of my body. So since I couldn't go up on my own, even with the Wakeup call and  startling realization of who I didn't want to end up being, I started going the only other option available to me. I started going down. I started getting worse. And worse. It was then, that I started using drugs. I tried to tell you on countless occasions, but you were so happy, and all you loved to talk about was Mikhail... So I let it rest. Until, it became too much for me to handle... The drugs became too much, and once more, I was too far gone to stop. I needed help, but I was too proud to get any. Right until I overdosed the first, and then the second time" when Charlotte saw the stricken look on Raven's face, she continued on.

"Don't look so sad Raven. I don't fault you. I understand that loving a man as intense as Mikhail, is a full time job. Plus there was no way you could have known. You temporarily stopped coming to work, and I took a lot of business trips and was gone for weeks at a time... It's not like we saw each other everyday, for you to check up on me. Sometimes we'd go an entire month without even seeing each other, after you moved out of the house. And that's never ever happened in all the over fifteen years that we've been friends. So really, I guess there was no way you could known, but at the time, that hadnt stopped me from being angry, or wishing things had been back to the way they'd always been, and you still cared...about me"

A/N: New chapter you guys...⌚
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Enjoy your new week. I'm going to drop one more chapter for you guys tonight, before going to bed...