To Love Irrevocably [18+]

Chapter Fourteen

The waiter comes by faster than expected and soon we're letting him know our orders. Now that he's gone with our menus, there's nothing to keep me occupied. I'm forced to talk, which shouldn't be a bad thing. Zero people skills are prevalent in my world.

Seren watches me. I can feel her eyes on my face, studying me and possibly waiting. When I meet her intense gaze, I almost melt. She clutches her bottom lip between her teeth and continues to stare at me with narrowed eyes. I want to know what she's thinking, what she's feeling. She's not as open to her emotions as I am.

"As I was saying," she pauses, lifting her glass to take a sip. "I've told you before that I find you cute, Sutton, but I'm going to be one hundred percent honest; I find you desirable."

I choke on my spit or maybe my breath, one of the two. Heavy coughs wrack my body and I grab my water to sip on it. It's a bit of a dramatic reaction, but her words have taken me by surprise. I figured she'd tell me a bit about herself and maybe ask me questions too, not tell me that. It's surprising beyond words. What can I say other than 'why?'

So, I stare at her and ask, "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Seren grins like she's trying to hold it back but can't. "I think this soft boy thing you have going on is charming. Excuse me for sounding blunt and insensitive, but I find your submissive nature to be absolutely delicious."

I'm sent choking once again. My cup of water is gone now and so is my sanity. Seren stares at me, unmoving, unwavering. The seriousness in her gaze tells me all I need to know. This woman before me finds me craveable. She wants me. I've never been wanted by anyone other than my family before, not in this way.

"I would actually prefer to take you back to my place once we're done here and have my way with you. But I realize that you're different from most men, most people. I realize that this may be too much for the moment."

My mind flashes to a carnal image, but I force it away. How can she already know me so well? Know me without actually knowing me unless she has experience with guys who can't look anything in the eye. The thought of that makes a little green monster rise to the surface, but much like my vulgar thoughts, I shove it back down.

Seren cuts into the French toast she ordered. "That'll have to wait. Right now, I'll give you the chance to get to know me, pretty boy."

"How?" I clear my throat. It's a foolish question, but one I need an answer to.

"Ask and ye shall receive."

***

The confines of the car are silent. Seren and I say nothing but listen to turned down music from the radio. It's early, maybe too early to end our date so soon, but I don't know. It's just the first of hopefully many. After leaving, Seren parked outside of a park that's ten minutes from my apartment. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe she doesn't want to end things so soon.

Seren clears her throat and I watch her in anticipation. "Let's talk, Sutton."

"Okay," I whisper, nodding my head. "About what?"

"This." She motions between the two of us. "I need you to know that getting into any type of relationship with me comes with hurdles. As you know, I'm a stripper." At my nod, she does the same. Then carries on. "I have men and women ogle me most days as I work most days. It doesn't bother me and I realize that with the world we live in, making money off of my body is frowned upon, still. With that being said, I need you to be okay with my job because I don't plan on stopping what I do anytime soon."

I take the time to process her words and think about how I feel. If I can get jealous at the thought of her previous conquests, then how will I feel knowing hundreds of men and women have seen her body? But then again, do I really have a say? We've only been on one outing and it's not my body, not my choice. I have to be okay with Seren's line of work.

"I'm also independent, Sutton, okay?" She doesn't give me time to reply to her previous statements. "I don't need a man telling me what I can and can't do. Restraining won't end well. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't particularly like lying on my back and taking shit, understand?"

"I would never hold you back," I speak honestly, my eyebrows furrowed.

Seren regards me without speaking, a soft look in her eyes. She lifts a hand and places it on my jaw. The action feels so intimate, so serene, that I just want to close my eyes and enjoy it before it ends.

"And I would never force you to become someone you're not," she mutters. "So please don't try to become someone you're not. Live for yourself and no one else. Understand?"

Stilling at her words, I nod my head and furrow my eyebrows. Staring into Seren's golden eyes is like staring into a never-ending vortex of beauty. It's easy to get lost in them, easy to imagine more things. By more, I mean the future. But it might just be wishful thinking.

"Are we—" I cut myself off, wondering if I should ask this or just keep my thoughts to myself. Deciding to go for it, I nod and force a resolve within myself. "Are we moving fast?"

The woman before me considers my words. Her thumb moves against my cheek before it rubs against my bottom lip, parting my mouth. Squinting her eyes, Seren hums and shrugs her shoulders.

"Do you think we're moving too fast, pretty boy? Let me know now and I'll pull away from you."

But I don't want her to pull away. Something about her is just so enticing. Even if we are moving at an exponential pace and talking about a possible relationship, I don't want to slow down. My heart is constricting at the thought, hurting my chest and making me want to panic. Painfully, my stomach clenches as I grow more nervous about every possible thing that may happen.

Taking a chance, I shake my head. This right here, this moment now, marks something new, something fresh. With that little motion, I've pushed us in a direction without a map. At least for me, I have no idea where I'm going. It's okay though, I'm ready for where this new road will lead me.