Alastor x Male!Clown!Reader

5 pt2

" -Welcome back!" Katies voice said snapping me outta my thoughts

" So, Charlotte." Katie said looking over to the princess of Hell

There was a high pitched squeak before a feminine voice said " It's Charlie."

" Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about!" Katie said obviously ignoring what Charlie said

" Well..." Charlie started as she cleared her throat loudly

" She's pretty composed, awe" I cooed as i gazed at the screen

" As most of you know, I was born here in Hell, and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everything around me." She said

Katie started to click her pen

" Hell is my home, and you are my people. We- we just went through another extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance!" Charlie said

" She's getting to the point at least, what a dame!" I said giggling

" I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence!" Charlie said with such confidence that it made me smirk

" So, I've been thinking. Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell?" She asked

" Theres a way out of here?... Oh fudge." I said

" Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?" Charlie said

" Redemption, what a funny thing...." I mumbled, maybe we can actually get into heaven- Ha! Ha! Ha! Funny!

" Well I think yes. So that's what this project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!" She said, everyone was still and silent.

" Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passing through... temporarily." She said

" This is pretty funny to watch, yet, shes pretty brave still!" I said with a childish smile

" I figure it would serve a purpose... a place work towards redemption!" Charlie started

" Who would want that?" I asked muttering to myself

" Yay...Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside." continued

" -Something pretty nasty-" I cutted in-between her speaking

" I know you do." Charlie added on

" Maybe I'm not getting through to you." Charlie finished

Princess Charlie and her songs, what a smol bean she is! haha!

I have a dream
I'm here to tell
About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel
Yes, it's one of a kind
Right here in Hell
Catering to a specific clientele
(Oooh)
" Inside of every demon is a rainbow" I sang along with her under my breath
Inside every sinner is a shiny smile!
Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac
" It's a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child" I hummed along to the lines she sang
We can turn around!
They'll be heaven-bound!
With just a little time
Down at the Happy Hotel!
So all you junkies, freaks and weirdos
Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks, and zeroes
And the fallen superheroes, help is here!
All of you cretins, sluts and losers
Sexual deviants and boozers
And prescription drug abusers
Need not fear
Forever again
We'll cure your sin
We'll make you well
You'll feel so swell
Right here in Hell, at the Happy Hotel!
There'll be no more fire
And no more screams
Just puppy dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams
And puffy-wuffy clouds
You're gonna be like, wow!
Once you check in with me!
So, all your cartoon porn addictions ( Me )
Vegan rants, psychic predictions
Ancient Roman crucifixions
End right here!
All you monsters, thieves and crazies
Cannibals and crying babies
Frothing mouthers full of rabies
Fill with cheer!
You'll be complete!
It'll be so neat!
Our service can't be beat!
You'll be on easy street! (Yes!)
Life will be sweet at the Happy Hotel!
(Yeah!)

Charlie pants silently as the silence continued on

" Wow! That was shit!" Someone shouted which lead to everyone laughs uncontrollably

" Oh yikes, what a turn of events!" I said with a shrug and grin

" What in the nine circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person? You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good just... because?" Katie laughed out

Everyone laughed still.

" Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause, and he's shown incredible progress!" Charlie suddenly said gaining her confidence back

" Oh? And who might that be?" Katie asked with an eye roll

" Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust." Charlie suddenly said as i snapped my head off the ground and up at the Tv's

" Shes got to be kidding me?" I said in surprise slightly too loud for my liking

Oh this is too damn good to be true!

" The porn star?" Tom asked suddenly eager

" You fucking would, Tom." Katie hissed out " In any case, that's not even an accomplishment."

" I'm sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube." Katie said mockingly

" Oh, I beg to differ." Charlie said looking at her nails

" He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for 2 weeks now." Charlie argued

" Breaking news!" Katie shoved Charlie off of the desk " We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed!"

" Oh shit." I seemed to say at the same time along side Charlie

" Oh shit indeed!" Katie said

" It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than-" She gasped mockingly

" Porn actor Angel Dust! What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid right now."

Katie and Tom laughed " Ratings!"

Charlie gasped and tried to cover the screen " Don't look at this!"

" Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?" Katie said feeling full of herself

" Yeah? Well- how does it feel that I got your pen, huh? Bitch?!" Charlie yelled

Charlie laughed nervously " Oops"

Tom seemed to run away whistling

I was getting bored so i just yawned and that was my hint to go and find something else to do