ALWAYS

XXIII

“My dad wants me to marry some spoiled brat jerk…”

Jennie angrily told her once their class dismissed… Rosé noticed her friend’s gloominess throughout the period… she didn’t talk a bit just like she used to… and so noticing the sudden change from her friend, Rosé asked her once they got out of the room…

Rosé was surprised… speechless hearing what her friend just told her… the same nightmare that she had is now hunting her friend…

“The night of the fair… I was supposed to meet the son of my friend’s dad… but I ditched that jerk… my dad knew about it and he was so furious... I really don’t want to marry… not now… not to someone I don’t even know…”

Jennie’s voice was shaking… tears could be seen in her eyes… Rosé understood what her friend’s feeling right now… the feeling of being cornered and unable to escape… she immediately reached for her friend and hugged her tight… thinking this is what her friend needs right now… someone whom she could lean on… something that she didn’t got when she was in her friend’s place back then…

“Everything’s going to be alright…”

She cooed her friend… hoping that everything would really be alright… wishing that if such marriage would proceed… her marriage would be far better than hers…

--

“I saw that jerk one time in a party… and seriously he’s nothing but an arrogant fart… he does nothing but to show off his cars and money… plus he’s a big flirt… showing off too his so-called charm to girls… Never I imagine myself being with a guy like that…”

They were out for a drink… accompanying her friend for Jennie doesn’t want to go home yet… she listened to her friend’s tirades… letting her out everything… and the alcohol helped her friend to let it all out… while she on the other side was having her thoughts drifted to somewhere else…

Her friend noticed her lack of presence… saw the bothered look on her face and

so, Jennie reached for her hand beside her which automatically brought her back from her deep thoughts…

“What’s wrong…?”

Her friend asked her… she sighed thinking if she should tell her what happened between her and ‘his’ lover earlier… concerned that her friend already has her own problem… and adding up to it would be too much…

“Rosé… tell me… is there something bothering you…? I think you should at least share it to me right… I’m your friend now…”

So much for her friend’s convincing… she decided to just tell Jennie everything… “I had a talk with Tzuyu earlier…”
Her friend’s eyes widen but no words came out from her…she just listened… wearing an unexplainable expression on her face… and oblivious to her friend’s reaction she continued…

“I really feel guilty for everything… I feel sorry for them to experience such heartaches… if only I could turn back the time…”

Rosé bowed her head… brows slowly meeting each other for guilt was haunting  her once again… her friend’s face finally showed emotion… touched by Rosé’s kindness and unselfishness… how could such person suffer in this kind of situation… she thought… Jennie tightened her hold on her hand…

“It’s not your fault… no ones at fault Rosé…”

Her friend’s gentle voice calmed her… she knows it’s not… but she can’t help but to think that somehow she’s still at fault… if only she insisted back then… if only she just ran away… if only she knew about them…

“Rosé…”

Jennie tried to wake her up again from her thoughts… she knows that Rosé’s battling with herself…she knows that Rosé’s still blaming herself until now… such a kind person to think of somebody else’s situation… but too much kindness from her could bring her in more pain…

“Don’t listen to anyone… you of all people should know to yourself that it’s not

your fault… you… we… are just victims of the selfishness of others…”

Jennie’s voice trailed off… ‘she’ looked at her friend with still a bothered face… it’s true that both of them are now in the same situation… both locked up to something they have to pay which they didn’t even owe…

After so much convincing from her friend… Rosé was able to feel the lightness inside once again… noticing that her friend’s thinking of something, she asked Jennie…

“I don’t feel good towards Tzuyu… I think that angel looking girl is up to something…”

She looked at her friend wonderingly… thinking why Jennie thought of that way towards Jungkook’s lover… throughout their conversation earlier… she didn’t feel any bad vibes from the other… except from the uncomfortable atmosphere that she already expected to happen…

“I mean… how could she be so casual towards you…? Telling you those things which in the first place are I think she shouldn’t have to since you already know    their relationship… she doesn’t even know you… I believe that was the first time you met each other…”

Rosé shook her head… thinking what would be his lover’s reason if she’s planning on something… the first time she saw Tzuyu… she was quickly amazed by the girl’s beauty… no wonder why he fell for her… and much to her amazement she’s better off when she had a talk with her… sure she is a talker but her words were full of love… towards her husband…

And as much as she want to deny in herself… she felt the pain listening how she talked of nothing but goodness about her husband… talking about their love… probably the feeling of envy or maybe something else that she couldn’t understand in herself…

“I think she’s not that kind of a person… I know technically right now I’m Jungkook’s wife… but she still has the right to tell me those things for in the first place I don’t own him and especially his heart…”

Jennie looked at her in pity… creasing her forehead… is she really this kind…? She thought… and in the end she just sighed… nodding her head.

“But still… you better stay away from her…”

Rosé chuckled at her friend’s last statement… thinking that it was just the effect of the alcohol she just agreed…

They stayed there for a couple of hours more just until her friend couldn’t take it anymore… she too had a couple of drinks… being a person with a low alcohol tolerance, she was a bit tipsy but good thing she still managed to contact Mr. Lee to fetch them.

Mr. Lee was a bit surprised seeing his miss in such condition… first time to see her in that state… they were all worried about her when she wasn’t in her campus when he fetch her earlier… she didn’t tell him where she would go…

After bringing her friend back to her house, soon they arrived at the mansion…   the maids had the same reaction as the old man… and it added more to their worry that their young master’s now finally home… just an hour when Mr. Lee came to   pick her up… Rosé giggled as she felt being supported by the maids… it was sure so long since her last drink… the alcohol was now getting the most out of her…

“Where’d you come from…?”

She just stopped once she heard someone… a familiar voice that broke her own moment of happiness… he was there standing at the entrance, looking at her with another blank expression on his face.

He just got home… totally tired from helping his father in their company… seemed like his now old father couldn’t handle the pressure in their business all by himself… and that he, the remaining son is now mostly have to carry the responsibility of their whole company…and as unfair it may seem… he can’t help but to think of some other woman other than his lover who was now seemed to be forgotten by him.

And upon knowing that he’ll be able to go home that day… his weary feeling got replaced by a bit of happiness and maybe anticipation… not really knowing why… maybe because he knows that finally he would be able to get his rest… another assumption that he’s feeding his mind..

When he arrived… he somehow expected her to be there… probably in their room again, locking herself… but much to his surprise… he felt disappointed and worried for she was still not home… he arrived quite late… and his wife’s still not home… realizing from the maids that Mr. Lee just received a call from her and wanted to be fetch from somewhere…

He waited… forgetting his own tired body… forgetting to even change his clothes,

he waited for her… and now seeing her in such state made him a bit furious inside… what was she been doing while he’s out…? He thought…

Her lips turned into a wide smile… feeling so much happiness to finally see him home… forgetting to suppress herself to feel that way… forgetting the once guilt that she felt earlier… maybe because of the alcohol which now took over her system.

“You’re home…”

She said… the maids supported her walk… he just watched her until she reach him… first time seeing her in such state… and he’s not liking it.

“Did you drink…?”

He asked her with a hint of anger in his voice…she just smiled at him which made him taken aback… feeling awkward seeing her smiling towards him… but knowing it was just the effect of alcohol, he brushed off the indescribable feeling inside him and directed his gaze towards the maid.

“Take her to the room…”

--

Her vision’s spinning… feeling the lightness of her head, she closed her eyes once she felt herself being laid down on something soft… she was still awake… still had her mind knowing that he’s finally home… she tried to stay awake… but the  dizziness took over her… making her eyes heavy and making her drift into deep rest…

The maids changed her clothes… the stench of alcohol was still seeping throughout her body… her husband stayed outside… not really knowing why he cares but seeing her in that state somehow bothered him…

“Where did she come from…?

He asked the old chauffer, who’s also worried about his miss’s condition…   thinking if the stress is really getting on her now… she was okay this morning…but upon seeing her in the restaurant with her friend… the once happy feature was all gone in her face got replaced by her usual sad state… even the fact that she was lost in herself… he could still feel that something’s wrong with her again…

“Sir, she and her friend were drinking at one restaurant downtown… she just

called me to pick them up… if I know that she would be drinking I should have just waited for her at her campus… I’m sorry…”

The old man bowed in apology… he turned to Mr. Lee once he heard that his  wife’s with someone earlier… and to think that she was drinking with that ‘someone’ makes his insides quiver a bit.

“Who… who was she with…?”

He said while looking at the old man with curious eyes…

“She was with Ms. Kim earlier… the young lady was so wasted that I had to bring her back to her house too… I really apologize for not being able to look after…-“

“You’re not in fault… just let her be…”

He managed to get back on himself… hearing that she’s not with someone whom he was thinking is enough to make him at peace… after seeing the maids got out of their room… he quickly walked out from the old man and went inside… he glanced over his wife for a while before deciding to take a shower and cool off his already stressed mind…

--

He sat beside her… drying off his hair… and can’t help but to watch her sleep… why does it feel that each day, he gets magnetized in watching her... what have this woman done to him…? It has becoming so often that he loses himself to her… and every he tries to stay away… he would still find himself looking for her… mostly, watching her from afar…

His phone suddenly rang… bringing him back to his senses… he immediately got it from the bedside table… checking if she stirred… at the other side of his mind he’s thinking why the hell did he care…? Too late for his body already cared not to wake her up…

“Oppa…”

Another wake up call for him… how could he forget her…? “T- Tzuyu-ah…?”
He asked as if he didn’t recognized her voice… still sinking to himself why didn’t

he remember thinking of her… his lover…

“Yes oppa it’s me… why aren’t you answering my calls and messages…? Are you still busy…? You didn’t attend school today…”

He continuously heard her voice… she continued speaking from the other line while he on the other side was once again drown in his thoughts… how could he…? He thought… thinking of another woman while the woman he loves was there and worried about him… how could he…?

Again and again… it kept on repeating in his mind… brushing off such absurd thought that suddenly hit his mind… together with the skip in his heart upon thinking of that reason…

“Oppa…? Are you still there…?”

A tinge of impatience could be felt from her voice but he didn’t notice it, instead trying his best to just focus on listening to her…

“Yes…? I’m so sorry… I was busy these past few days… I only got home tonight…”

He heard her … in which guilt immediately hit him… he couldn’t imagine how disappointed she may look right now…

“Can you come here right now oppa…? I miss you…?”

Her voice suddenly changed… seductively asking him to come to her house tonight… but for some reasons he didn’t feel even a single fiber in his body to be moved and be aroused… blaming it to the weariness he’s feeling physically especially mentally…

“Oppa… please… I really miss you…”

She tried once again… he sighed… feeling sorry for his lover… he’s been neglecting her for days now… and one night probably won’t matter… of course it wouldn’t for she’s his lover… he even promised back then that he’ll always be there for her… but now… it seemed he’s slowly breaking that promise…

He then turned to his wife… clutching on his phone thinking why can’t he just say yes… just like back then that whenever he hears his lover’s voice… as if he could literally fly to wherever she is… since when did it feel so hard meeting with her…? And why is it so heavy to leave the woman in front of him now…?

It made heavier for him when he suddenly saw the tear that escaped from his wife’s eye… trailing down from the side of her eyes… her lips started to tremble… and just then the unexplainable feeling hit him again… the same feeling that hit him the other night… and by that he knew he’ll lose himself once again… but can’t seem to stop it for maybe… he too wanted it to happen…

“Oppa…?”
“S…sorry Tzuyu-ah… I… can’t tonight… I still have to finish something…” He choked right after he said those words… why did he reject her…? More so,
why did he lie to her…? But his heart’s pounding so hard right now… looking down on his wife… making those questions left unanswered…

He heard her whined… but all he could do was to apologize… telling her he will make it up to her… and by tomorrow they will see each other again…

On the other side of the line… she sighed… clutching on the phone tightly… gritting her teeth for she clearly knows that he’s hiding something… and the woman she just talked to earlier was probably one of those reasons why he can’t see him tonight…

She hanged up the phone… glanced towards the frame beside her table… it was the picture of ‘him’ and her… she glared on it before throwing it on her bed… biting on her lower lip, suppressing herself before she would burst out in anger… it was the first time he ever rejected her… and to think that probably it was all because of someone who he just met a month ago made her feel so uneasy…

--

“Oppa…”

He was still battling to himself about rejecting his lover when he heard her speak…his eyes widen a bit… he heard her calling her oppa… why was she calling him…? Why him…? He thought… felt the heaviness inside him grew more…

With his now trembling hand… he reached for her tears… shrugging off what he just heard from her earlier… but as much as he want to… she doesn’t let him off that easily… for she called her ‘oppa’ once again…

He gritted his teeth… before reaching her face and wipe off the tears on her cheeks, his hand formed into a tight fist… suppressing the forming anger inside

him… she’s calling another man in her dreams… another man once again… “I feel so bad oppa….”
He saw her brows slowly connecting… probably feeling the awful effect of the alcohol…

“You shouldn’t have drunk a lot in the first place…”

He pulled back his hand before he looked away… decided to just settle himself on his side… he needed his sleep… but before he could get what he needed… her face welcomed him once he laid down… she was turned to his side… still had her tears in her eyes… lips parted and body curled like a fetus… And again… here he goes… watching her once again… with a big gap between them… setting the border himself… for a couple of times he already broke his rules… at least this time may he able to control himself again…

And before he could even close his eyes… to end his tiring day… an unbearable pain struck him once he heard the words that came out from her lips…

“Please… take me back home… oppa…”