ALWAYS

XVIII

I woke up early just to see him not home already…

The maids said he left home first thing in the morning…

Last night… I had the hardest time putting myself to sleep… thinking about him who’s just a wall away from me…

It keeps on bothering me why he didn’t go to his lover’s house… he could’ve just spend the night with her… rather than spending it alone in that cold room…

I kept on shifting my body on the bed to every side... but no matter what, his face kept on flashing inside my mind… I don’t know why… but it keeps on bothering me to follow him… thinking that he’s alone in there wants me to check on him…

But that would just be a big mistake… I know I’ll be the last person he would want to see… I’ll be the last person he would want to be with, especially now that he’s alone… just by thinking how disgusted he is when it comes to me feels like my insides are burning like hell…

And if by any chance he would not be disgusted by my presence… there will be only one reason behind that… the fact that I am just a thing to feed his needs…a mere thing just to satisfy the lust inside of him.

Pathetic… I really am pathetic am I…? A strand of hope is enough but how come and since when did I start being too full of myself.

But still no matter how I restrain myself from thinking how much he’s changed… how much of an odd thing it is to see him and to feel from him some slight of tenderness… there’s something inside me that keeps on pushing me to read him further…

Understanding him is not enough… I feel like I want to know more about him… even if it would mean that I’ll receive more pain from him in the process.

--

His eyes… Those same eyes that I saw during that dinner… the same eyes that drawn me into a deep bliss after that one gentle night from him… I felt my heart

stopped when I saw it again last night… from the man who brought pain to me… how it could give remedy to my aching heart…

And the warmth of his hand… the soft touch that until now I could still feel on my hand… how I wished to be held by him that way… even just for a while… that stolen moment was like a gift from the heavens… another gentleness from him that surely is enough to cure the pain he had inflicted in me that day.

--

“Omma where’s uncle Jungkook…?”

She heard her little angel’s voice… she flinched a bit thinking that he’s probably with his lover right now… spending the weekend together with her, especially that his parents won’t be around… A normal moment with him, just like the last night’s would remain as a stolen happiness for her…

She reached for the little girl’s face and wiped off the crumbs on the side of its lips… she forced her lips to curve a smile, hiding the forming sadness inside of her.

“Baby… you know uncle Jungkook’s a busy person right…? So he wouldn’t be able to join us today…”

She saw the little girl pouted in disappointment. “Omma, uncle Jungkook is busy just like appa…?” She asked again while chewing on her food. “Yes baby he is…”
She said weakly… her niece pouted once again which made her chuckled a bit… Soojin never fails to bring happiness to her even just by her smallest act.

“But Soojin wants to play more with uncle… why is it that, they’re always busy omma…? Appa… uncle and sometimes even omma…”

Rosé sighed… here her niece again with her tantrums…

She lifted her niece by its waist after she finished her food… settling her on the counter as she brought its plate to the sink… and again, she heard her niece spoke.

“But how about Jennie…? Or uncle Taehyung…! Omma…! I want to play again with uncle Taehyung…!”

Soojin’s eyes widen in delight… she sure had a great time with Taehyung last night… and just then, there she finally remembered about Taehyung.

‘Why didn’t he come back…?’

‘Did something bad happen to him…?’

Trails of thoughts immediately filled her mind… she suddenly felt nervous thinking how could she forget about him… she was too absorbed with her own stolen happiness that she forgot about the man who helped her to have a wonderful night.

But a part of her… a selfish part of her says that maybe it was somewhat a good thing that Taehyung wasn’t there… that whatever his reasons are for not coming back gave her the chance to have another moment with her husband… another chance to see another side of Jungkook once again…

She shook her head… how could she think of that…?

She turned back… leaving her niece looking at her wonderingly… she got the phone and was about to dial a number but she stopped… remembering she doesn’t even know Taehyung’s number… she stayed in her spot while continuously looking at the phone on her hand.

“Omma…? What’s wrong…?”

Soojin’s little voice interrupted her thoughts… she shifted her gaze towards her niece who’s still seated at the counter… she then smiled.

“Ah… baby I’m planning to call uncle Taehyung but omma doesn’t know his home’s phone number…”

She chuckled at her own silliness which made the little girl join her in a round of laughter.

“Maybe uncle Jungkook knows his number omma…”

Her niece then smartly stated… she was somewhat taken aback with her niece’s suggestion… of course he would know since he’s his best friend… but it would definitely be a wrong choice to call her husband and bother him to whatever he is

doing just to ask him for his friend’s number.

Even though she really wanted to check on Taehyung, she wouldn’t want to take the chance to be insulted by Jungkook again in the process of finding a way to contact Taehyung… and plus… the thought of seeing him in class after the weekends would be enough to make her at peace.

But while she was busy with her own thoughts again, the phone she’s holding suddenly rang which made her jumped a bit and almost drop it… Soojin chuckled again upon seeing her aunt’s clumsiness.

Rosé quickly answered the phone and as if someone heard her thoughts awhile ago, a familiar voice responded on the other line.

“Y- Taehyung-sshi…?”

Her eyes widen a bit… somehow a wave of relief brushed upon her after hearing his gentle yet weak voice on the other line.

And as if on cue, hearing her aunt mentioning Taehyung’s name, Soojin’s hands clasped with each other… turning towards her aunt, trying her best to reach as far as she could just to hear her aunt’s conversation.

“Yes… it’s me…”

He answered back… his voice sure is weak… a hint of sadness could be felt… but as innocent as Rosé is, she didn’t notice it… oblivious to the fact that the man on the other line is now suffering from a heartbreak.

“I’m sorry if I left you last night without bidding goodbye… something came up that I really have to leave quickly...”

Upon hearing it, she waved her other hand in front of her as if she’s talking with him in person.

“Ani..! It’s okay… I was just worried that something bad might have happened to you… good thing you’re fine… and even I’m already quite used to you leaving without any notice, I still could be worried about you, you know…”

She kid him a bit… earning a slight smile from him on the other line… how could the girl who brought him the heartbreak could also be the one who could heal that wound…

She heard him sighed on the other line… she just waited for him to speak first… but again, just like what they are used to do… silence consumed them…

Soojin’s brow raised, totally wondering why her aunt isn’t speaking anymore… “Rosé-ah…”
She heard him finally spoke… somehow she felt the weakness in his voice… and she was about to answer him back…ask him what’s wrong… but her niece beats her to speak…

“Omma…! I want to talk to uncle Taehyung..! Tell him to come here and play with me..!”

Soojin cheered on her seat… Rosé quickly went to her when her niece almost fell off from the counter… and just then, the little girl quickly stole the phone from her…

Her eyes widen but didn’t bother getting the phone back from her niece… seeing how happy she is when it comes to Taehyung, made her happy too…

She watched her niece having her conversation with Taehyung… the little girl won’t stop from giggling and nodding… she just hoped that Taehyung won’t be easily fed up by her niece’s childishness.

She bit her lip and felt uneasy when she heard her niece persistent invitation to Taehyung to come and play with her…

After a while… Soojin finally gave her back the phone… smiling sweetly at her while extending her arms towards her… wanting to be put down on the ground… and after she put her down, the little girl quickly ran outside the kitchen.

“Yehey..! Uncle Taehyung will come and play with Soojin..! Beach..! Soojin loves the beach…!”

Rosé’s eyes widen again… the little girl kept on yelling… until she heard her running upstairs… she quickly turned herself to the phone…

“Jungkook’s not home…?” She heard him asked.
“N-no… he’s not… what did you tell Soojin…? Beach…? What beach…?”


“I’ll pick you two later... I’ll be there in a minute…” He casually said.
“Huh..?! Wait…! What..?! Taehyung-sshi you don’t have to-“

“I don’t have anything to do in here… I’m bored… plus I want to make up for last night…I’ll be going there now…”

“Wait…-“

But before she could speak more… he already hanged up. She sighed… looking at the phone in disbelief.
--

After a couple of minutes of collecting back her thoughts… she snapped back… sinking into her that Taehyung’s really coming any minutes by now...

She quickly put the phone down on the counter and immediately made her way out of the kitchen and back to their room to change…

She saw her niece happily skipping her way out from their room… wearing her cute yellow summer dress and holding a hat on her hand.

“Soojin-ah… baby… you’re already dressed up…? You did it all alone…?”

The little girl nodded flashing a wide grin and went to her back and pushed her legs for her to move.

“Omma hurry up..! Uncle Taehyung is already on his way here…! You have to change quickly…!”
She chuckled… her niece is really cute whenever she’s excited about something… “Arasso arasso… you just go downstairs and wait for uncle Taehyung.. okay
baby..?”

She turned around and bent down to meet her niece’s height… fixed the big bow on its dress and pinched its chubby cheeks… the little girl giggled once again and skipped her way downstairs.


“Soojin-ah… careful…!”

She called to her… but the little girl seemed too deaf because of too much excitement… she shook her head side to side as she made her way inside their room to change.

--

She just decided to wear anything she could find in her closet… just a plain white summer dress but enough to bring up her beauty… looking at herself in the mirror, she can’t help but to smile… slowly closing her eyes as happiness took over her once again… it’s really been a while since she last went to a beach…

Back then it was her sanctuary… the most peaceful place she could go to… releasing every stress and sadness that she’s been keeping inside… it was a truly heaven for her whenever she hears the dancing of the waves… smell the salty yet fragrant scent of the ocean… she sighed… at last she could feel those things again…

She slowly opened her eyes only to see someone through the mirror looking at her from behind…

Standing at the opened door… there he is… the man she was looking for early this morning… the man she thought had left her again in her cage… Looking straight at her with an unreadable expression on his face.