Proving Her Wrong

Revelation & Vow

He looked at me flabbergasted, but I didn't care I needed to let it all out.

"I hate you so much," I screamed in fury and my voice broke as I started to sob uncontrollably.

A flash of hurt and then determination flashed through his face. But I didn't care. I shoved him as hard as I can. I wanted to hurt him. Make him feel the pain. I was just tired of being the better person.

"Because you couldn't be honest with me and talk to me I merely died and lived in misery." I blamed him though I know it's not his fault. I had to do it. But he needed to leave  for his own good. As much as I want to hurt him I want him safe. So I let out my frustration out on him.

To keep him safe I'm willing to make the same mistake he did six years ago and I completely understand why he did it. It was the fear of not being able to protect your loved ones, fear of losing them.

After, being shot by my mother I realized that the mess ahead of me is much greater than what I could imagine and I can't possibly drag Derek, my children or friends, into this.

It's way too dangerous for them.

Truth is, all of this is beyond me.

"I'm so sorry. I will do anything to make things better." Guilt was evident in his voice.

"You've done enough." I gasped out as my throat went dry.

I turned around to leave, but his arms were wrapped around me. My back facing his front which I think was for the best because I was breaking and I didn't want him to see me in that state. However, by my breathing and uncontrollable shaking he probably already knew.

"What do you want from me?" I asked tiredly.

He put his chin on my head and his hands drew a comforting pattern on my arm.

"You. I'm so sorry you had to be alone for so long, but now let me be your shoulder to lean on and I'm not asking you because of pity, but because of you are Bella. And because I love you and want to shower you with my love." He explained softly and I will be lying if I said my heart didn't skip a beat. 

I shook my head and pulled away from his to face him to examine him. His eyes were red and stains of tears were on his cheeks. My heart clenched at the thought that I hurt him and made him cry.

"Why do you still come after me when I hurt you?" I asked.

"Don't you know Bella that when you are hurt it hurts me too? And I can't just leave you because I am helplessly in love with you." He confessed as his fingers grazed softly my cheek.

"Don't worry about me. Don't comfort me. I hate receiving love. It makes me wanna become weak" I let out without thinking.

"You can be weak whenever I'll be there to take care of you. I promise no matter what I'll stay by your side. Nothing could separate me from you" He said and I just thought just maybe I could put everything behind and just go with him and be with him.

My mind said no, but my heart said yes.

'What about his safety?' I thought.