The Great Divide

27. The Precinct

My family was crammed into the living room watching an old sitcom on the television. It was black and white, but the dialogue was filled with so much color, I didn't really notice. I found myself giggling throughout the episode and a small weight lifted from my shoulders. I hadn't laughed in what felt like months.

The phone rang. My mother lifted off the couch and padded into the kitchen. Despite my engagement with the tv show, I found it very easy to remove my attention and divert it to the kitchen. My mother was speaking Mandarin; the realization of whom she must be speaking to sent my ears ringing.

A small wail echoed through to the living room. I stood up and shot into the kitchen. My mother was seated at the dining table with her head in her hands.

"Mama," I said.

My mother squeaked but did not look up.

"What happened, Mama? Was it Aunt Ming?"

"Another one, Margaret."

I was suddenly frozen in place. I had been expecting this, hadn't I? Why was the news such a shock? "Another girl went missing? From the group home?" All the saliva in my mouth had dissipated.

My mother nodded into her hands. She then glanced upwards and caught my eye; they must have been a reflection of each other, all pain and worry.

I sat down beside her. "Mama, did Ming say the name of the girl who went missing?" Heat was rising in my cheeks.

My mother slid me a look of confusion. "Why do you want a name?"

I bit my lip. "I don't know. Just wondering." It was the worst lie I had ever told, but my mother was still so absorbed in worry, she seemed to let it go.

"Oh, Margaret. So many in such a short time – never this many."

"I know, Mama."

The rest of the night had consumed me in another fog. Nothing was clear; everything was masked and unrecognizable. I had to know who went missing but was terrified of the answer. I would call Shun in the morning from a payphone and see who it was, although, part of me already knew. The weight I had released in front of the television that night was back, and it was stronger and denser than ever before.

I didn't sleep a wink. My mind played tricks on me again, and with every glance to a corner of my bedroom, I saw a shadow lurking. Pulling the covers over my head, I vowed to stay under until morning. The light, I argued, would be my only reprieve.

When morning finally did arrive, my head pounded something fierce. I avoided looking into the mirror because I knew the reflection I would see: dark bags, pale skin, and puffy eyes. Instead, I slipped into a pair of jeans and sweatshirt and made for the kitchen to resume my normal morning routine. Although, nothing felt normal about it.

After I walked my sister's to school, I beelined for a pay phone. My heart hammered in my ears as the line rang and rang. On the last ring, someone picked up, but it wasn't Shun.

"Carrie?" I asked.

"Who's calling?"

"It's Margaret Ren."

"Oh."

"I – uh – I heard another girl went missing."

Silence.