Author's notes: WARNING: This is smuttier than my usual stuff, and contains more graphic details of sex. So read at your own risk. (It is not so bad tho)
Can't believe I am actually publishing it.
Krista said in an interview that she would like to explore a darker side of Andy, so this is where my mind went.
Hope you enjoy!
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"Then I heard your heart beating,
you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you"
-Cosmic Love, by Florence + The Machine
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She is here again. His Andy.
He can feel her hovering outside his house, debating if she should reach her hand out and knock on the wooden door. The both of them know she is facing a battle doomed to failure, her desires will take the better part of her eventually.
She needs to feel, and he is the only one who can make her forget, who can make her body blow up and her mind go silent, even for a short while.
A part of him feels shame, feels like he is taking advantage, even if she is the one coming to him. Even if she is the one who wants to play it rough, and he is the one who wants to kiss every inch of her body. Even if she is the one who seeks release, and he is the one who wants to hold her in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
He refuses to open the door until she knocks, even though he can see her silhouette reflecting through the window, crossing his threshold over and over again, fighting an inner battle, dancing in a mix of self loathing and passion threatening to burn her from the inside out.
He releases the breath that was caught in his lungs when she finally, finally, knocks on the door. He opens it slowly, revealing her small figure standing at the entrance of his house, their house, as he still thinks of it that way.
Ever since her mother came back, appeared out of thin air and made her way into Andy's life, she hasn't been the same. The changes are small, and someone else might not even notice them.
But he knows her better.
He knows every dimple in her skin, every flaw, every curve, every cell that makes her his Andy. She may fool everyone else with that smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and those eyes that lost the way they sparkle, but she can't fool him.
Yet every time he asked, every time he cared or showed a sliver of interest, she pushed him away. And she kept on pushing, until their marriage crumbled to ashes, and there was nothing left to save but the ache in his chest and the love in his heart that pressed down on his body with every thought of her.
His Andy.
She walks in, moving past him, tired of waiting for an invitation, one that he is reluctant to give. She walks into his living room without saying as much as hello, and unzips the coat she is wearing.
She has done it time and time again ever since they decided to put a pause on their relationship. She came to his house one night, shaking, telling him that she needs to feel something, anything, other than confusion and betrayal.
And every single time his mind screams at him to turn her down, even at the price of hurting her feelings. Yet his body... His body has a life of its own, it awakens when he sees the smooth skin of her breasts, the way her entire body is covered in goosebumps just by the lightest of his touches.
They are both slaves to the way they make each other feel, slaves of their own bodies, slaves to any semblance of touch. And even though he knows he should quit, he knows every time he sleeps with her he just pushes them further apart from each other, he can't stop. He just takes whatever it is she is willing to offer.
