You, since forever

Chapter 17

" He provided you a shoulder to cry on when you had none. He wiped your tears when no one could have. He may have made fun of your bachpana(naivety) when you were growing up . But now he looks out for it. Didn't you just tell me how once you exchanged plates with Taimoor because you weren't like what you had ordered ?"

"Par woh tu...(But that was...)" Haya began only to had her mother glare at her and she shut-uped.

"If it was someone else, he would have asked you to eat what you have ordered. Or lectured you about how stupid it was ? Or how irresponsible you were that you couldn't even order yourself food. Truth be told your father would have lectured me if I had done anything like that, even though he loves me alot. But Taimoor said nothing right ?" Her mother asked . And Haya found herself nodding. Haya wanted to argue how her father wouldn't lecture , but by the look her mother was giving her, she decided not to contradict. 

"He exchanged plates with you without even saying a word." Her mother said and Haya realized how right her mother was. Taimoor hadn't said a word. He had just smiled and swapped the plates after wiggling his brows  at her request. He even had smiled when he had realized that she was dead serious.

"Haya, he cares for you a lot. You are naik-naseeb(blessed) , mere bachay.(my child) We never would have someone found anyone like him. Allah jo karta hai behtar karta hai.(Whatever Allah does, is for the greater good.) "Her mother said as she kissed her forehead and got, up leaving Haya to the new spaces and questions she hadn't explored.

Was her mother, right ? Was she really lucky ? Did Taimoor really care? Most of all did he love her ? Haya's heart was answering all those questions with a yes, while her brain argued that her mother didn't know about the bet.

During those months of being married to Taimoor, she had always wondered why he had decided to play her knight in the armor and rescued her when she had no one. All those months she had spent married, she had wondered why someone so perfect like Taimoor had decided to marry her. Wasn't he the one who had called her fat? Wasn't he the one who had claimed that her husband was going to be one unlucky guy, because she was naive and indecisiveness as hell ? Then why had he decided to marry her? At first , she had rugged it under the excuse that he did it for piety and some kind of charity. 

But only after a week of entertaining the thought she had thrown it out the door. No one marries someone for pity .

A month into their marriage and Haya had thought maybe he did that for his mother. Phupho had always loved Haya. It was a valid excuse that he would have married her for the sake of his mother. Haya's father had married her mother because of Dadi , it was a valid and solid rationale . But few weeks into entertaining that rationale, Haya came to an inference that he had married her, because he was a good human. And that was it.

And that inference  went down the drain when Salman told her that she was only a bet. And Haya with a self-worth which equaled to zero found it easy to believe. Taimoor was the reason for her insecurity. And her heart had believed it. And the huge ass insecurity of being shit and no good was slapped into her face once again. Not every one is born with a confidence that could rattle the mountains. Some people like her, doubt their self at every step of life. So for her it was easy to  believe that she was nothing but a bet.  And she believed it. Because it was believable. Because Taimoor had always treated her as if she was worthless before marrying her. He never treated her like he treated the rest of the cousins , who were showered with kind smiles and compliments . While all she got was scowling face and snarky remarks.

It would have been completely naïve of her to hope that Taimoor had married her , because he was in love with her. One doesn't just fall in love in seconds. She had fallen in love with Taimoor over a period of time . It didn't happen over a night. Plus,  she had adored him when they were kids and that adoration which had turned into dislike as they grew up turned into love. But for Taimoor it wasn't the case. He couldn't be in love with me. Her brain reasoned.