All The More Reason ✔

Chapter 27 - Approval

"It must be nice to see Julian again."

Senn swallowed, shuffling in his spot nervously. "Yeah, I guess. He was a good friend before."

Tessa's smile changed. As if she knew something, and she didn't buy his answer.

Senn replied with a frown. Tessa couldn't possibly know what kind of friend Julian had been in the past, right? Or did she overhear their conversation that evening, when Killian was on the phone?

"Did you hear us talk?"

Tessa kept smiling, shaking her head. Then, she leaned in as if she was going to tell him a secret. "Senn, sweetie, I know Julian isn't just a friend to you. At least, your mother had her suspicions about the two of you. If there's more between the two of you, I just want you to know that I'm here for you. If he really is just a friend, your mother was wrong about you for the first time since... well, ever."

Senn's frown increased, and his jaw dropped. "Mom had suspicions about me?"

Tessa nodded, biting a cookie without breaking eye contact. "She didn't want to ask you about it, since it's not something you can force someone to accept or come out with just because you want to know. But she was in fact wondering why you wouldn't talk about it to her, or your father for that matter."

"Maybe because she was wrong?"

"Was she?"

"No," Senn muttered, hugging his knees to his chest. He was done fighting, and hearing aunt Tessa tell him that his mother practically already knew, and didn't treat him any different for it, told him she didn't care about his sexuality. She loved him no matter what. That was all he wanted to know. It was one of the main things he still struggled with when it came to coming out; he just wanted his parents approval.

And Tessa just gave him exactly that.

"It's all just a big mess and I'm still not even sure what I am, if I like Julian, or this other guy..." Senn told her with words rapidly following each other. Now that she removed the breaks, he couldn't stop himself from pouring out his heart. "I don't want to lose my friends when I tell them. I don't want things to change even more because everything already changed immensely, and I just want the world to stop so I can take a minute and breath."

"It's a lot to handle, Senn," Tessa said as she placed a comforting hand on his arm. "But for the most part you need to remember not to rush anything. Not your process of grieving, not in figuring out what you are or who you are. Not who you like or who to tell. Don't rush into something you might regret later. But most important, don't forget to try and enjoy life while you're finding your way in it."

"But how do I do that when everything feels so suffocating and forced?" he timidly asked, staring at her hand on his arm. "Lucas wants answers and I want to tell him, but I'm afraid he might not like the truth."

"Sweetie, always, always pick your own happiness over others. If you are ready to tell him, tell him. If you're not, it's not his place to force you out of your comfort zone. But believe me when I tell you this; you have to make your own happiness. And if hiding your true self feels suffocating, stop hiding."

"It does feel nice to know you won't kick me out for it."

"Neither would your parents, neither will Dean, or Killian or even Jessica. We love you, and we always will."

"So, dad knew about it too?"

"Your parents really knew more about you than you know, Senn. They just wanted you to be happy. If it's going to be a guy who makes you happy, they would've welcomed him with open arms. And so will we."

"Thanks, Tessa," Senn whispered with a tick voice. "You don't know how badly I wanted to hear those words."

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Love, June