"Eat your soup Vikk. Just do it this once."
I put on a fake smile and push a spoonful into my mouth. My mind was screaming at me to stop, don't eat, don't swallow it, while it was also telling me to obey my parents. I couldn't disappoint them. I managed to force the single spoonful down.
"There."
"Good job." They praised, immediately moving to trying to force me to eat again. I did as they asked.After dinner I run straight to the bathroom and ram a finger down my throat, hoping for my gag reflex to kick in and cause me to throw up the disgusting dirt I put in my body. It worked, and I spent the next ten minutes retching and expelling the pitiful amount of food I had eaten that meal. The burning sensation was almost comforting now. It meant I had some semblance of control.
People always asked why I just can't eat. They're usually old people too, that don't even know half of my life and everything I've been through. I mean, it's not like I don't want to eat- I do. I really do. But I think I'm fat. I was overweight as a child, maybe 150 pounds at 14 which was considered fat, especially for someone my height. Within two years I dropped down to 80 pounds, a weight that was considered dangerously underweight for... anyone. But I still felt fat.
I maintained that weight for another two years, and then I was 18. I hid it under oversized hoodies, continued to never eat. I hated it. I just couldn't eat anymore. I had a huge self image problem.
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Outcasts [A Sidemen and Pack Story]
Fanfictioneach of them had something a little different about them. something that made them an outcast. simon didn't like sex josh was crazy smart ethan didn't like smiling tobi was always stressed jj liked alcohol harry just wanted to be pretty vikk didn't...