The Album of You and I

God Save Our Young Blood

Flowers were something that Emma had never managed to fully understand.

They were used in situations of happiness and in sadness. Ages to grow and a week to wilt. 

They were expensive even though free. Every flower had a different value until they didn't. 

As she looked around the funeral parlour, the white lilies were forever going to be engrained into Emma's mind as death. They framed Jay's coffin with remorse and pollen that made her nose itchy and her eyes watery. 

Theo, to her surprise, hadn't released a tear as they sat through Jay's service. When he delivered the eulogy every word was well spoken, with no sign of any brokenness which she had been witnessing the days before. 

It shocked Emma more than seeing Theo in his shell-like state.

When Jay was buried, next to Theo's parents, Emma thought that he had to break now- but still nothing came. He had blocked out everything. All the way home, Emma kept discreetly trying to make sure that he wasn't going to suddenly fall apart. 

'Grandad always said that life wasn't something to be wasted on death for. I think he told me that because I was just a kid and my parents had just passed but you were right, I needed time to evolve and grow. I'm not the same, but I know that grandad would be mad as hell if he saw me spending my life frozen in broken pieces.' Theo assured her after catching her worried glances for the fourth time. 

'I know you're like superman but not even he would be able to bounce back so quickly.' She stated, studying the barren branches on the sides of the path. It was like they could only reveal and process things to each other in the midst of the natural world- where they were free and private.

'Sunshine- Grandad's memory isn't gone. But there's nothing I can do to bring him back- I can only be thankful for what I have. And what I have is an amazing friend who has been so stubborn that she refuses to give up on me. Besides, there are other things that I have to overcome now.' Theo sadly smiled at Emma.

Emma noted the use of 'friend' and the strange displeasure that it evoked, but that was moved aside owing to Theo's last sentence.

'What do you mean, other things to overcome? What are you not telling me? Theo?' She pressed, not believing that there could be yet another hurdle to jump over. 

'Sunshine- if I tell you, promise me that you won't freak out. It's not really that big of a deal- more of an inconvenience. Really.' 

'T- spit it out. You're making me nervous.' Emma turned to face him head on. 

'I have a tumour. At least that's what the doctors think. It's a pituitary tumour, so before you start panicking, it's probably not cancerous. It just means that I have to go to hospital and sort it out and surgery and stuff.' As Theo broke the news, Emma could feel the blood drain from her face. Her shoulder muscles rose with even more stress, and her mind went into frenzy as she already started to plan how to deal with yet another thing. You would think that the amount of times someone had to bluntly break news to her that she would be used to it by now- but alas, everything still felt like the first time. 

She was mad at the world. How could this be fair? How did someone expect one person to deal with all of it? Theo didn't deserve any of it. She thought back to her life before she met him, how unscathed she had been in comparison to Theo.

'T. That's not something that you can take so lightly. You- You must have been hurting so much. Working so hard, travelling constantly. No wonder you're basically dragging yourself through. You must be exhausted.' Her voice could barely be heard over the wind.