Irredeemably Me

"Then I shall be sure to find a fitting seat to watch the world burn."

"I should try to find her." Camila sighed as her eyes roamed over the glistening lights of the city-scape. "I should at least try to and talk to her, I owe her that much."

"We owe her nothing," Lucy sneered as she tipped back the last of her drink, her eyes settled on Vero and hating the puncture markings embedded in her neck. A permanent reminder that her cousin had done the very thing she knew very well would earn her Lucy's hatred. "She has caused enough suffering, this may very well be her fate. To roam the earth alone for eternity."

Camila could understand Lucy's anger. She knew the vampire's true weakness was the witch and Lauren had known it as well and still...the green-eyed vampire had attacked the witch. Lauren had also in that moment been aware that Vero was Camila's weakness as well and she'd not taken a moment to confront that information, instead, she'd acted on impulse as she always did.

The brunette's eyes settled on the witch and Vero's eyes met her own in turn, an understanding passing between them that Camila knew should unsettle her because this wasn't normal. Feeling so overly protective over one person wasn't normal, especially when prior to reviving the witch, Camila had hated her. Camila had been more than willing to leave her to die.

But now...now Camila couldn't find it within her to endanger the witch again. She felt a maternal link to the witch. Lucy had a theory that in bringing Vero back, Camila had offered the witch a portion of her soul and so she would feel forever connected to the witch. She would love the witch as she loved a part of herself.

So Camila could understand Lucy's anger but she could also understand Lauren's confusion. Because aside from her cousin, Lauren had rarely had to share Camila. They'd been a pair since the moment Camila discovered what she was. Lauren loved Camila relentlessly, there was no bounds to what she would do for the hybrid creature and not long ago, Camila had felt the same. She would tear the earth apart if it meant keeping Lauren alive, but she now felt that same protectiveness over Vero. She didn't share the same affections as she did with Lauren, but her heart was halved between them now. And it hadn't been a choice.

Camila hadn't chosen the link to Vero and in truth, if she could sever it, she would without hesitance. The last thing she wanted was to be responsible for another life, but none of them could find a way to break the link and so Camila was slowly coming to accept it.

That didn't mean she didn't want to find Lauren because her heart ached for the vampire. She felt her absence as a physical pain in her chest. It'd been two days and she'd yet to sleep. She knew finding Lauren would be easy, with the witches behind her, she could find the vampire with ease but Lauren had chosen to leave her. Lauren had made the conscious decision to walk away and Camila didn't want to invade the privacy she now owed the vampire. She'd made promise upon promise to never leave Camila's side and yet...she'd walked away without once looking back and Camila hated that she had. Because she was certain she could never leave the vampire with such ease.

"She's hurt." The hybrid creature spoke softly, more to herself with her tone as lost as her heart felt. "I hurt her."

"Your breath is wasted," Lucy scoffed. "I have used many of those very same excuses when finding reasoning behind her actions."

"You know that's not the same," Camila clenched her jaw. "I was hers...just hers. And she was mine, completely, but now...I'm not just hers anymore. I can't choose her," Her eyes looked over Vero. "Not ever." Camila averted her eyes back over to the city skyline. "I will always hesitate between them and even now...the thought of Vero walking away hurts me."

"I couldn't walk away," The witch rolled her eyes. "I'm stuck on you the same way you're stuck on me. Even after your crazy girlfriend decided to treat herself to my blood."

"She wouldn't have killed you," Camila knew that much. Lauren wouldn't do that to her or Lucy. "She just...needed me to prove that I had no control when it came to you."

"And you did."

"And I did."

"You know, it's weird," Vero walked up to Camila and stood beside her, allowing her eyes to look over the city. "I actually feel sad that she's not here." She chuckled humorlessly. "I think I kind of feel what you feel...not all of it, but some of it."

"I kind of hate that," The hybrid girl glanced at the older woman. "You're not, like, low key in love with her as well, are you?"

And Lucy's found herself curious of the answer as well.

"God no," Vero grimaced at the very thought. "That's all you."

"Good," Camila smiled lightly. "It would suck to want to kick your ass but knowing I physically couldn't."

"You know, if you want her back, you could get her back."

"I want her back," Camila nodded softly. "So much. But she needs to want to be here. She needs to accept that this is the way things would be from now on. I don't think she can. I don't think I could if the roles were reversed," She sighed softly again. "I can't even entertain the idea of anyone else holding a piece of her heart."

"No other creature ever will," Lucy chimed in carefully. "Until the day she meets her end, you will be the only creature that will hold her heart. She no longer holds it herself, she granted it to you the moment she told you she loves you. My cousin can do many things, but love...she does not find love. With Keana...she may have but it was as fleeting as a heartbeat in the expanse of our lives. With you, she has found it for an eternity. So despite her departure, she knows she will not find another."

And only then did the vampire understand her cousin's actions and she felt her anger begin to subside.

"She will love you and choose you always but you can no longer promise her the same. Love, yes, but if both lives were threatened...through pure instinct, you will save the life of Veronica and you would let Lauren perish."

"Would you even still call that a choice?" Camila ran a hand through her hair as she turned to Lucy. "You should find her and talk to her. I know her, she thinks she's pushed all of us away."

And despite herself, Lucy knew Camila was right. Despite her reservations due to Lauren's actions, she knew her cousin's faults were justified. For the first time, her heinous acts held...sanity.

Lucy found her cousin where she knew she would always find her. Surrounded by gentle music and perched on a bar stool worth more than some cars.

"I was certain I would not see you again." Lauren didn't spare her cousin so much as a glance as she swirled the amber liquid around in her glass. "I attempted to kill the witch."

"You would not kill her." Lucy raised her hand to the bartender and ordered her drink before settling down beside her cousin. "That is no longer the creature that you are."

"She would surely reduce me to ash if I did."

"And you cannot possibly see the fairness in that? You take a life and your life is taken then in turn?"

"I think she could tear you to pieces...and I still could not fathom the thought of harming her." Lauren finally turned to her cousin and Lucy found the younger creature no longer trying to hide the colour of her beast in her eyes. "I cannot return with you, Lucia. I have known for quite some time now that I will die for her because she would do the same for me, it has been as simple as that since our love bloomed." Lauren tipped her drink back. "It is no longer the same, she will allow me to die before she ever lets harm come to the witch and I cannot justify a death so very unjust as that."

"I have long since thought you have abandoned your selfishness, cousin."

"It seems I have once again proved you wrong." The younger vampire stood from her seat and made to leave until a hand stopped her.

"She cannot do this without you." Lucy's eyes were pleading with Lauren's.

"Then I shall be sure to find a fitting seat to watch the world burn." And before Lucy could stop her again, Lauren ripped her arm from her cousin's hold and disappeared into the night and Lucy knew she would never see her cousin in that very speakeasy again.