What's Real..?

Chapter 18: Mute

But instead of her talking to me, she made me stare at her as she drove. 

We'd hold hands in school, but I knew she wasn't really there. Her mind was somewhere else; it was with Josh. I couldn't say I blamed her, but I just wish she'd share what was on her mind. What had her so quiet, so shielded...

"Mia" I whispered as she drove.

She glimpsed in my direction as acknowledgement, so I assumed I wasn't going to get any actual words out of her. 

"Baby, you know I'm here, right?"

We'd come to a redlight, just a few minutes away from our street, and she finally turned to face me. I could see the pain in her eyes and it shattered my heart to see her that way. I didn't want to see her strength waning. I knew she was stronger than she was giving her credit for. She needed to be strong for Josh.

"Sure, I guess," she said. "I know."

Then she drove on. She pulled into her driveway, gave me a peck on the lips, then got out of the car and went inside of her house. 

I knew she was hurting, I just wished there was something more than I could do to help her.

                                                                                        ~*~

Mia's POV: 

Feb 11, 2015

They won't let me in to see Josh!

It's not fair! They let the whole fucking soccer team in to see him, girls' soccer too, but i can't go see him. I'm not family. Funny how that works out right? His actual family, the people who he hated, get to go in and cry all over him like they gave a damn about him, when really he had to fend for himself the majority of the time. He dad keeps getting on the news and talking about it, when Josh had to pull him off of his mother numerous times. His mom is too afraid to tell anyone how afraid she is now that Josh isn't around, on t.v. she looks terrified of her husband but no one seems to think anything of it. And his sisters? Well I just hope they look after each other until Josh is better. 

When I went to try and see him, the nurse asked his father if it was okay that I go in...he looked me over and flatly just said no. He gritted his teeth like he had more to say, but was refraining. It took everything in me, not to just slug him in the face. 

I just want to see my brother, coma or not, I want to see him. I want to know that he is still breathing, that his chest is still pumping, that I'm sitting here worrying for no reason, that really he's going to be alright, and I need to suck it up. BUT I CAN'T SEE HIM!

This journal is supposed to be helping me...it's supposed to be making me think through things, but all it's doing right now is making me see all the bad. Making me realize how fucked up everything truly is. I HATE THIS!

- Mia Clarke

                                                                        ~*~ 

Mariana's POV: 

Mia sat down next to me in the cafeteria and I thought she was about to cry, I didn't know why, but damn I hated seeing her cry. I looked around and no one seemed to notice, no one except for the two people seated on either side of her, Natalie and myself. 

I bumped her shoulder and stood up. She looked at me, eyes wet and ready to overflow. 

"Let's go." I told her. I glanced at Natalie and gestured for her to get her ass up too. "We're not staying at school."