What's Real..?

Chapter 15: New Strength

Natalie's POV:

Mia and I never talked about "what we were," we just went with the flow. I'm sure she wondered much like I did, but there are no words for how I feel around her. I've only known her about a month and she has been all that's in my mind all the time. I thought this was how I felt in my last relationship, I even fooled myself into believing it for three whole years, and now here I am, falling for a girl I barely know too many things about.

But I will know everything about her. All her fears. All her aspirations. Everything.

When I cornered Mariana by her car to ask what'd happened to Mia that day, I hadn't expected her to say that Mia had tried to kill herself. Why would my Mia do that? Why would she try to leave me? I didn't know what to say, but I knew I had to see her. She had to have been in absolute pain to be able to just want to throw away all of her life, just like that. I knew she'd been crying that morning, I knew that it was probably because of her mother, but I didn't push her. I didn't make her tell me what went down between them. I figured, in time, she'd come to tell me on her own. I didn't think she'd go into a bathroom, swallow an entire bottle of migraine pills, and wait to die.

I was at Mariana's car soon after I saw Mia being taken away on the gurney. Mia still had tears pouring out of her eyes as she was being hauled into the ambulance. I'd never seen her like that, I'd thought I'd been making her happier, that I was helping her, but I wasn't helping at all. I told Mariana that she better take me with her to the hospital, I knew she didn't like me too much, Mia had told me why, but I didn't care. She wasn't going to keep me from being there when Mia woke up...if she woke up...I hated myself for thinking that, but I couldn't help but be slightly pessimistic at the situation.

When we got to the hospital, after decades of waiting Dr. Richards finally came to give us an update. Well, or so we thought. Really he was looking for Mia's parents, who obviously Mariana had called and texted a billion times, I'm sure the school had too, but they were nowhere to be found. I'd been crying the entire wait, angry with myself, and feeling as though I could've stopped Mia's pain sooner, but I hadn't. So, when Dr. Richards began to look as though he wasn't going to take Mariana and I to see Mia, even after Mariana cussed him out, I knew I had to step in. For whatever reason, what I'd said worked, even though I didn't say half of the things that I was thinking, and he took us to her room. I guess, it was the tears, mixed with the crazy woman eyes I'm sure both Mariana and I had.

Then, there I was watching the girl I'd become so attached to, lie in bed asleep. Mariana looked like she wanted to jump on her and beat the hell out of her, and I must admit the thought had crossed my mind, but above everything else I just wanted to hold her. I wanted to hold her and let her know that she was cared for, that someone was always going to be there, through all of her pain and hurting, I was going to be there to help her through.

~*~

After another hour, Mia finally started to flutter her eyes and wake up. Before I could say anything Mariana started going off.

"You fucking asshole!" she started, "Why the hell would you just decide you wanted to kill yourself?"

She moved closer to the bed, eyes like flame burning through Mia, and Mia just sat there taking it all. Looking unbothered.

"You know I'm here!" Mariana continued. "I've been here through everything you've ever been through! But now, of all times, you clam up and don't tell me shit! And then you try to fucking die Mia? Are you kidding me!"

I think Mia tried to talk then, tried to plead her case her raging best friend, but Mariana was on a role and wouldn't let her speak.

"And her--" she pointed at me. "--were you just going to leave her?" I wasn't sure if Mariana had guessed what was up with us or not but all I could think was, Brava. My thoughts exactly...