Hearts and Headstands

Chapter 11

Patrick's stomach heaved like an army of butterflies had just burst from their cocoons. He and David walked in silence for several minutes down a path leading away from the building.

They passed by several benches and water features that hid in alcoves between groups of dense trees and shrubs. Birds chirped happily around them. Oblivious to the turmoil in Patrick's mind and body.

"It's beautiful here." David stopped in front of a ceramic pedestal where a small, brown and black bird bathed itself in the bowl of water on top.

"It definitely is."

He felt David's eyes on him. Soft and comforting like a cashmere sweater. "How was the class? You did a great job."

Patrick let out a half laugh. "I can see why they call it 'practicing' because that's exactly what it feels like. I enjoyed it, though." He released a shaky breath. "I am concerned at how much more intense it will get since that was just the first class." He had almost fallen over at least a dozen times on the poses that required more balance. If he wasn't careful, he'd end up with a broken nose.

David walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. Patrick followed.

"That's what I love about yoga. You can do the poses you want, push yourself when you want, or pull back when you're not feeling it. There's no competition or judgment. It's all about challenging yourself in a way that feels comfortable to you." David looked out toward a group of towering trees. "Yoga is the one thing that quiets my mind."

Patrick liked this thoughtful side of David. The man kept surprising him. "I can see the appeal."

David looked at him and smiled. The rays of sunlight that broke through the tree cover lit up David's golden skin and added a shine to his black hair.

"Yoga is what helped me survive the first year in Schitt's Creek. My anxiety was out of control. I was constantly on edge, snapping at people, and felt like I was one wrong word away from biting everyone's head off. But I stuck with yoga and practiced mostly when Alexis was out on her runs. It felt like my private thing, you know? Alexis now knows I do it and does some of Hamish's videos with me, but I haven't really told anyone else how important it is to me." David looked back toward the trees. "It's silly, I know. It's just exercise."

"Nothing about you is silly, David."

David turned to face Patrick. The left side of his mouth lightly pulled back into an easy smile. "I highly doubt that's true. You've poked fun a time or two about how low the crotch of my pants hangs."

Patrick laughed. "Unusual, sure. But you're not silly."

They stared at each other for several long moments. Patrick felt open and bare. Exposed. Like David was the first person who really saw him for who he was and who he could be. He wanted to close his eyes and run or crack a joke to break the smothering tension, but he also wanted to get lost in the depth of David's eyes. He was lost. He was drowning and David held the only rescue float.

"Can I ask you a question?" David's voice was husky.

"You can ask me anything." Patrick's voice sounded like it had dropped an octave or two.

David licked his lips. "Do you have any regrets about yesterday? Your first kiss? First kiss with a man?"

Patrick had never seen David look so vulnerable before. He carefully weighed his words to make sure there was no way David could misinterpret them or twist them into something to feel bad about himself. Nearly the only habit of David's he didn't like. Actually, the only habits of David's that Patrick didn't like were the ones where David put himself down.