Hearts and Headstands

Chapter 16

Patrick blinked through tears as he stared at the windows of Rose Apothecary at the displays that were nearly complete and so damn visually enticing that Patrick beamed with pride over David's skill and vision. David's dream that had somehow worked its way into Patrick's heart. They had built something amazing. Together.

Best-case scenario: He could stay and work with David every day. They could flirt with each other as they stocked shelves. Sneak off to the back room for make-out sessions between customers. Patrick could cook him dinner while David poured drinks after their long days in the store.

Or, if he stayed, there was a chance that David wouldn't want anything romantic with Patrick. He could have gotten it out of his system and move on to the next conquest. Patrick shook his head. No, David wasn't about conquests. Not the David he knew. But that didn't mean that David was necessarily ready for something with Patrick beyond their professional relationship.

If he stayed and their relationship was purely professional, could Patrick handle that? His shoulders tensed. The thought of having to act casual and disinterested around David while David could be off dating other people. Possibly being in the store when David's new person came in and seeing them kiss in greeting. The kind of kiss greeting that Patrick had been hoping for the past several weeks. Probably longer if he was really being honest with himself.

No, Patrick couldn't do that. He didn't have the strength to stay and watch David be happy with anyone else. He wanted David to be happy, no matter what that meant, but Patrick wasn't sure he was strong enough to watch anyone but him give David that happiness.

Third possibility: go to Toronto. Cut bait and run before Patrick fucked it up or David found someone more suitable for him. Start a new challenge of getting a catering business off the ground and use that to leverage his next client and just keep going. Maybe try dating some men and learn more about his sexuality.

His skin turned cold at the thought. He didn't want to date anyone else. He wanted to get dressed up and take David on a date. He wanted to have a few drinks with David at Cafe Tropical and then walk home with him, hand in hand, tipsy and buzzing with anticipation for a night of lovemaking.

No one was more suitable for David than Patrick. They came from different worlds and had wildly different taste in clothes, but they worked. Patrick brought the steady calm to David, and David brought the vibrancy to Patrick. They meshed in all the ways that were important and differed in the ways that kept things interesting.

Patrick looked at the Rose Apothecary sign that had been hung a few days ago. He thought about David's pure joy when it was being installed. Them standing on the sidewalk, arms around each other's shoulders and grinning. Patrick taking David's photo in front of it then David taking a selfie of both of them in front of it.

Somehow Patrick had gone from doing his step-aunt a favor to settling in. He'd let David Rose build a cozy pillow fort in his heart.

Patrick let out a sound that was somewhere between a strangled groan and a growl. He'd fucked everything up. They had such easy communication usually. Hell, he'd told David about Rachel and felt comfortable enough to not only come out to him but have a few firsts. That took a pretty serious amount of comfort with someone, at least for Patrick.

But when it really counted, he had chickened out. He had over three hours in the car to tell David about the job opportunity and talk to him about what he meant when he asked Patrick to stick around the store more long-term. Was that a professional or personal long-term?

Instead, he had erred to what was easy, just like he had with Rachel. Push people away and distance himself when it got tough. Except David wasn't Rachel, and it hadn't been easy. Patrick was practically on the verge of throwing up.