Hearts and Headstands

Chapter 9

David watched the door close behind Patrick and he fell backward on the bed. What the fuck just happened. What the actual fuck just happened. Patrick kissed him.

Patrick. Brewer. Kissed. Him.

That wasn't a pity kiss or something he did because David had asked. No. The kind of kiss that said Patrick had been thinking about kissing David for a while and finally seized the opening.

Jesus.

And it was hands down the best kiss of his life. The hundreds—maybe thousands—of other people he'd kissed paled in comparison to what a couple minutes of having Patrick's lips against his could do to him. If just a kiss had caused that much of a reaction, he couldn't fathom what would happen if they went further.

Patrick Brewer was gay. David had never been happier to learn a fact before.

David ran a shaky hand over his lips. For a moment, his mind stilled. The usual din of anxious thoughts quieted, and he felt like he was in a float tank. A handful of Xanax had never calmed him like Patrick's lips had.

He lay there and years of tension unfurled. A caring, wonderful, wholesome, kind man kissed him. A good man wanted to kiss him.

What had he done to deserve such good fortune? David smiled and closed his eyes, trying to relive the kiss.

David's right leg twitched, and his stomach fluttered. No, not yet. The stillness slowly drained from him and he tried to clutch at it before his usual level of anxiety slammed back into him. Negative thoughts fluttered in his mind, chasing away the happy warmth.

Patrick was his business coach. Patrick didn't have any experience with men and didn't need David's neuroses screwing him up from the outset. David didn't even know how long Patrick planned to stay in Schitt's Creek. What if Patrick freaked out when he learned more about David's background? It was one thing to accept eccentricities of a friend, but it was something else entirely for a lover. Patrick deserved a guy who knew how to bake and build things and enjoyed sports and hikes and didn't mind if his shoes got dirty and liked mornings.

David was neurotic at his worst moments and annoying at his best. He constantly second-guessed when people showed him kindness and didn't believe for a second that love and happiness was in his future. Sex and being content enough? Sure. Patrick had been right on the drive. They were from different worlds, and it did matter.

No, he couldn't go any further with Patrick. There were a million reasons not to, and it wasn't worth getting off to risk hurting Patrick. What if they moved too fast and he resented David for it? He wouldn't take all of Patrick's firsts.

How would they be able to work together after that? David had been a good time, one time, to a lot of people over the years, but they never wanted to stick around. Patrick had to stick around until opening, and that was a recipe for disaster.

David pulled his phone from his pocked and opened his texts.

David: SOS. Stop reading or playing solitaire or whatever the hell you're doing by yourself in that office. I need to talk to you.

The three dots began bouncing immediately.

Stevie: Erectile disfunction is a serious problem. I'm glad you're reaching out for help.

David: Why are we friends? You're useless.

Stevie: You say that now. Did you see the present I left for you yet?

David: I hardly think this is a time to be worrying about snacks.

Stevie: Oh, you sweet summer child.