Hurricane // Matty Healy ♣ The 1975

24. ocean

//I preferred it before//

"Are you okay?" Matty asked as I stared down at the screen of my phone. I sighed. 

"Yeah." I swallowed softly. 

We were sitting on the sofa with towels wrapped around our hair. I was wearing one of Matty's white tops and a pair of leggings and he was wearing boxers and a shirt.

He nodded his head before getting up, pressing a kiss against the crown of my head before going into the kitchen. 

I stared at my phone again and shut my eyes. 

"I'm going to phone my Dad." I shouted to Matty. 

I heard him shut the fridge. 

"Do you need me there?" He shouted back. 

"I'll be fine." I replied. My voice trailed off at the end. 

Should I tell him about Matty?

I dialled my Dad's number and waited in silence. 

"Hello, Michael Frost here. I'm sorry but I'm not available at the minute, so please leave a message or phone back later."  I sighed.

Just my luck. 

"Hi... um, hi Dad. It's me. I was just calling to say I'm okay, but you're not there so... um, you don't have have to call me back if you don't want. Um, yeah, sorry for disappearing and lying and being horrible, I just couldn't cope. I love-" The message cut me off and I sighed. Hanging up. 

"No answer?" Matty came back into the room with two oranges and threw one at me. I caught it and sighed. 

"No answer." I confirmed. 

Matty leaned over and kissed my nose gently. 

"What will your dad think?" He asked. 

"About which part? Me lying, me leaving to be with my famous boyfriend and his friends who are all basically nine years older than me, and not going back home and rarely answering his texts and phone calls, me moving in with my boyfriend or drinking and smoking and doing numerous illegal things and sneaking into clubs or having sex with my boyfriend, but then again we were drinking and smoking and having sex last year, but you know what I mean, basically I'm every parent's nightmare." I dragged my hands through my hair as my throat tightened and tears began to fill my eyes. 

"No, Lizzy... I'm every parent's nightmare."

He dug his thumb into the top of his orange, almost angrily. He peeled it, then when I handed him mine, he did the same, but ended up squirting orange juice in his eye. He squinted and I smiled at him. 

I leaned down and lay across his lap and stared up at him as he pulled a segment of orange out and poked it into my mouth gently. 

I stretched my mouth out and bit the of his finger gently. I smirked at him and he narrowed his eyes.

"Mean." he stated and shoved half of his orange into his mouth. 

"Gross." I replied and poked his cheeks that were all puffed out like a hampster's. 

I fell asleep in Matty's lap and awoke a couple of hours later. The entire room was getting dark and the only light filling the room was from the tv. 

We were curled up together, I could smell the shampoo in his hair and I gently trailed my fingers through it until he woke up. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I whispered. He snuggled his face into the crook of my neck. 

"It's fine." He mumbled into my skin. "Lets go and sit on the balcony." He muttered, stretching his arms out and scooping me up and carrying me towards the french windows. I oepend them for him and he carried me out and sat down on one of the chairs he had set out months and months before I moved in. 

I was sitting on his lap and we were both shivering thanks to the cold. 

Matty kissed my fingers gently as we both peered out at the city in front of us. 

My heart was beating so quickly and I wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or the feeling of Matty's lips on my neck. 

Matty was burning me. 

Matty was just burning. 

I felt sick because of him. All the time, a constant feeling of sicknness in the pit of my stomach, making me want to empty myself, to be a blank canvas that I could paint over to make me into everything Matty had ever wanted. 

I was a disaster. 

My hands were shaking as I turned my head to kiss Matty's mouth gently.

-----

Matty's POV 

I could feel her losing interest in me. 

She looked out at the city and I could feel her skin burning into mine.

I stiffly pressed my lips against her forehead and waited for her to say something, because I knew she would. 

"I-" She stopped herself and turned around on my lap so that she was sitting with her legs wrapped around my hips. She kissed my chin. 

"You shaved." She muttered under her breath. I shrugged. 

I had shaved about three days ago. 

"Yeah." I replied.

She kissed my chin. 

"I like your chin." She whispered and I swallowed to refresh my dry mouth. 

"I like everything about you." My voice cracked and I hoped it wasn't noticeable. 

If she noticed, she didn't make it obvious, which I was glad for. 

Her eyes were so bright. George had described them as the colour of blue crystal meth a couple of nights into the tour when Lizzy had gone to the bathroom, but they were so much more, they were so much stronger. 

Lizzy sighed loudly and pressed her head forcefully into my chest, like she wanted to disappear right inside me. 

I stoked her back through the thin material of my shirt that she was wearing. 

I always struggled to find words to string into sentences to describe her, but feeling her skin and her breath on my chest right then, I decided that she was the one ocean I wouldn't give a shit if I drowned in. 

"You're so gentle." She choked out. "People probably don't see you as that, but you're so soft and- and lovely and-" I kissed the top of her head and buried my nose into her still slightly damp hair. 

Fucking hell.

----

FISTING.

that got ur attention.

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shamelessly plugging.

it's washingabrain.tumblr.com

also i changed my username aGAIN LOl

i love everything atm

<3