Hurricane // Matty Healy ♣ The 1975

61. bedroom

After a week of Matty getting even worse, I managed to persuade him to make an appointment with a doctor. 

The appointment was at eleven o'clock in the morning just outside of central London, so really we only needed to wake up at about half past nine, but because Matty wouldn't get a cab, we had to walk there, so we were up at seven o'clock. 

"I don't know how you can deal with this..." He had said over breakfast. I shrugged my shoulders. 

"I don't know how you can deal with it." I said simply as I chewed on my piece of toast. 

Long story short, Matty was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, and god, would it tear us apart. 

---

Matty's POV

Fuck. 

I loved that word. I love it so much, so deeply. 

Lizzy was sitting in bed with me. We were sharing a joint between us. It was so strong. 

She leaned against my shoulder and I shut my eyes as I placed it to my lips and took a long drag. 

"Are you okay?"She asked me. I shrugged. 

"Kind of." 

Kind of had taken the place of good. 

Kind of was better than anything. Even if it was brought on by weed. 

"Good." She whispered. 

"How are you?" I placed the joint to her lips and she took an elongated drag, more than usual. She exhaled through her nose. 

"I dunno." She shrugged. 

"Do you want to fuck?" I asked quietly. She shook her head. For some reason I felt slightly relieved, but I still asked why. 

"I'm too..." She didn't finish the sentence, but fro some reason I could understand exactly what she meant.

"Do you still love me?" She asked. I nodded my head. 

"Yeah." I said. 

"Good." She kissed my forehead. 

After five minutes of comfortable silence, I suddenly thought of something. 

"Hey, did our presents survive?" I asked. She shrugged. 

"Most of them, not the guitar though. I opened the picture and that was enough." She said, smiling softly. I had expected that the guitar wouldn't have survived, but I was still pretty upset about that. 

"Where are they?" I asked. 

She got up and staggered over to our wardrobe. I smiled and laughed quietly as she swung the doors open. She gently lifted up a couple of stacks of clothes and took all of the presents otu that we had planned on giving to each other, well, almost all of them. 

She put the clothes back and shut the door and carried the presents over to our bed and placed them down gently in between us. 

"I love you." I said, putting the cigarette out in the ash tray on the bedside table. 

She smiled at me and sat down. 

"Open this one." She said, pushing a box in front of me. 

What was planned to be a happy evening, turned incredibly emotional. 

She bought me several shirts, a box set of Twin Peaks, mainly because she had been pestering me to watch it for so long, and about six classic books that I hadn't heard of before, but she insisted that they were amazing. 

I bought her a thick coat that wasn't really any use seeing as it was spring, but it was a good idea at the time, I also bought her a pair of dark green Doc Martens like the ones she had seen the previous year when we had gone to Camden market, and a few books.

She was wearing the coat and the shoes, despite how warm our flat was, and eventually she ended up taking the shoes off, then wearing nothing but her underwear and the coat. 

"You're a sight for sore eyes." I said. She smiled at me softly as I leaned over to kiss her gently. 

"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer now." She laughed quietly, making me smile. 

---

Lizzy's POV

When I woke up, he was shouting about losing his phone. 

I frowned and squinted, wrapping the duvet around my naked body and walking out into the kitchen. 

He frowned and looked at me. 

"Did you take my phone?" 

I shook my head and put the kettle on. 

"Did you leave it in our room?" I asked him. He sighed. 

"Do you not think I've already looked in there?" 

I sighed and shut my eyes. 

"Matty it's eight o'clock, I'm not up for this right now." I mumbled as I took two mugs out fo the cupboard to make our coffees.

"But what am I going to do? I need to call George." He groaned. 

"Use my phone." I said. 

"I can't remember the pass code." 

"The year of my mother's birth." 

"How the fuck do you expect me to remember that?" 

I sighed. 

"1967." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem."

I made his coffee but he stayed on the phone until it went cold. 

This was our life now. Some days I minded more than others, but I just needed to remember that he was still Matty, just a lot more scared of everything. 

He went to therapy every week, even though he really didn't want to. I basically forced him, which annoyed him, but I just wanted him to get better. 

We were still in love, in fact, it probably made our love stronger or some shit like that. We just got a little fed up with each other every so often, but eventually whatever problems we had got solved. 

I couldn't help thinking that if I suddenly died, it would be the closest to a happy ending I could have ever expected, and I didn't mind. 

I love him, he loved me. 

Everything was fine. 

---

so

that is it

until the next book omfg what. 

i appreciate all of the support i have been given! it's lovely!!

the sequel should be up in about a month? i dunno, i need to plan it out, also i'm trying to focus on my other story, wasted youth, and i'm currently planning another one, so i've got quite a lot going on writing-wise. 

so idk??? but i'll post an update when the third book is up, and i'll probably post when i post my new story soooooooooooo. eheheh.

if you have any questions, i would love to answer them. :)

thank you all for being part of this journey with me! it's been fab and there's still quite a way to go! <3