Arlo

5.

"How are things with Adonis?" Amy asks me over wine. "Good." I reply but she raises a knowing eyebrow at me. "Okay, so not as good as I'm letting on." I confess, wincing. "Why not?" she ponders, stabbing a piece of chicken from her salad to pop into her mouth. "It's frustrating because I feel like I should want to be with him; I mean, he's fucking amazing, yet—" "You can't because of Arlo." She confirms, to which I nod. I poke at my salad, chin resting in my hand as I pout. "Then, you need to let him go. You're being unfair, Alita." She scolds. I groan, resting my forehead against the table. "I want to move on! I want to be able to move on with him." I whine. "But you can't now because you know that Arlo feels the same." I nod, furiously. "I mean, he's been so supportive, too. He said that it's his job as my best friend to be supportive, so it's not like he's trying to split us up, but I almost wish that he was." Amy shakes her head, "Well, you know how I feel about it, Alita." She shrugs and that's the end of that conversation. Fuck, I love him so damned much.

"Lovey, you here?" I call into the apartment as soon as I open the door and am greeted with the sound of his laughter paired with an unfamiliar woman's giggle. I freeze as I spot him on the couch with a girl resting where I usually do, right under his arm, pressed into his side. "Hey, Alita. This is Robyn." He introduces but his voice sounds like its underwater; very far away. He looks into my eyes and I feel like he's seeing into my soul, witnessing it shatter before his eyes; my favorite eyes that are spelling out a very clear fuck you, specifically for my soul to read. "Hi." I force out before speeding down the hallway to my bedroom to change into a pair of jeans and a t shirt. "You're leaving?" he asks, frowning, but his arm is still around her. This is what I've been doing, this is what I deserve. "Yeah, going to head on over to Adonis's." I choke out, tasting acid on my tongue. She reaches her hand up to comb through his hair and presses a kiss below his ear; I'm certain that if I don't get out of here right now, I will bleed all over this floor for his eyes to see. Drive a blade into my heart, it would hurt less. "I thought we would have dinner together." He pouts. I wince, turning away to assure that he doesn't spot it. "I'd rather you stab me." I rush out as I practically run out of the apartment.

I'm still a mess by the time I reach Adonis's, so I sit out in my car while I collect myself when Arlo shatters me to bits with a single, "Why did you leave?" which goes unanswered. I rush up to Adonis's loft, a sort of calm washing through me at the knowledge that his cleansing embrace will put me back together in no time. Yet, there's no answer when I knock. I dial his number, feeling idiotic that I didn't think to call him before coming over. "Honey?" he answers on the second ring. "Hey, baby love, I'm outside your place, but you're not here?" "No, I'm sorry, honey, I'm at the store. I'll be there in a short while; there's a key taped to the underside of my mailbox, go ahead inside." He reveals. "Are you sure? I could go home." The words leave my lips, but I am pleading with all of the gods that he doesn't send me away. "No, of course not. I want to see my sweet honey bee." He sighs, his voice sounding offended that I would suggest such a thing. "Alright, I'll see you when you get here, then." I sit on the couch, ignoring every call and every message with Arlo's name attached, until Adonis walks through the door; as soon as he graces me with his smile, it feels as though a weight had been lifted, if only slightly. Yet, Arlo never left my mind.

The following morning, I find Arlo in my bed, covers doing very little to keep him modest. "I'm sorry." I breathe, sitting beside him. "For what?" "The way I acted yesterday and for what you must've been going through watching me be with Adonis. I get it, now." I keep my eyes away from him, paying attention to the chip in the hardwood on the floor. "So, you were jealous?" he questions, sitting up straighter. I nod my head, groaning. "I shouldn't be, though. So, I want you to tell me all about her, but tonight, because I've got to get ready for work." I force out, placing a kiss to his cheek before leaving the room to have a shower. Time to let go and mean it, I tell myself, head resting against the wet tile as the hot water burns my skin red and the steam rises, swirling above my head and making it difficult to breathe. "Lita?" Arlo calls from the other side of the door, pulling me out of my broken stupor. "Yeah, sorry. Coming out in just a sec!" I call, sniffling as I turn the water off. When did I start crying, I ponder as I taste the saltiness of my tears on my mouth. I offer a small smile and a noncommittal wave as I head out the door.