Arlo

2.

Once again, constructive criticism is appreciated, please leave your feedback.

She kissed me, and fuck how I wanted more but leaving was the right thing to do; the stories that we had shared, and her words, it just would've made it impossible to keep myself in check. I've kept myself in check for too long. She texted me, promising that there was nothing to be sorry for. I don't respond, too embarrassed to face her, yet. When she messages me asking if she's going to see me again, I feel a pain in my chest. I call her, nerves threatening to make me throw up. "Arlo, god, please come back. There's nothing for you to apologize for." She gasps into the phone. "No, I am sorry; I shouldn't have let you do that, I'm sorry. You're like my sister, I don't want to mess this up." "Please, come back; we can talk." "Maybe, I'll come back tonight, but I'm going to have breakfast with Brandy right now." I share. Her side of the call is so quiet that I fear she may have hung up, but she finally says, "Have a nice time." Then, ends the call. I did have breakfast with Brandy, but Alita was running miles in my mind. The disappointment in her voice when she ended the call, the shock on her face when she kissed me, how soft her lips had felt, how warm her body had been pressed up against mine. I spend the rest of the day wracking my brain for ways to make it up to her, but come up with nothing. I decide the best route would be to just pretend it didn't happen; move on. I call her, hoping that she answers; when she doesn't, I decide to text her and ask her where she's at. Her lack of reply feels like a punch to the gut. I, finally, gather enough courage to make my way back to her apartment, to find her slipping her feet into a pair of heels. "Hey, neighbor." I greet, a nervous ruffle of wings tickling my insides. "Hey, Smiley. Um, you go ahead and stay here; I'm about to head out." "Where are you going?" I pray that she doesn't say the words that I think she is going to say. "Out with Amy." I release a breath full of relief. Thank god, she's not going to see that fucking ass from the other night. "Oh. Well, have fun." I sigh, moving to have a seat on the couch. "Yeah, she says I've been alone for too long, so she's forcing me out." She rolls her eyes, adjusting a gloss to her full lips, making her lips look so invitingly wet. I swallow the pain that is squeezing my throat at the suggestion that she'll be with a man that isn't me tonight. "You're going out on the prowl?" I jibe. She shrugs. "I suppose. You can come, if you want." She invites, spinning the tube of gloss between her fingers, absentmindedly, as she looks back at me. "Sounds fun." I reply, standing to follow her out the door.

It was a mistake of epic proportions, following her to this club. I felt like I was forced to watch as she danced with man after man, forced to watch as she allowed their hands slide all over her inviting curves. She's your best friend, for fuck's sake, just move on, I cerebrate as my feet carry me to the nearest bar. By the end of the night, I am trying to get over Alita by getting under someone else, but hers is the only face I see.

At dusk, I am dialing another friend that lives in town. "Jessie." He answers. "Have you got time to grab some coffee?" I ask. "Yeah." "Usual spot." I order before hanging up. I met Jessie in college and he's one of the only people that know the all-consuming love I have for Alita. "I love her so much, man. I hate it." I confess, drink in my hand, empty. He chuckles at my expense, taking the glass from my hands. "That's enough for you, I think." He jests. I cover my face with my hands, groaning, "Alita." He laughs, "She's not here, man." "I know! That's the problem! She should be here with me, so that I could kiss her and stuff." He barks out a laugh, "I think it's time for bed, man." He instructs; after that night, he never lets me get away with drinking myself into stupidity. He sighs and shakes his head at me when he sees my appearance. "I take it by your despondence that those marks aren't from Alita." I groan, running my fingers through my hair. "She kissed me yesterday." I confess, running my hands down my face. He raises his brows in surprise. "It was an accident, but she jumped away from me so fast you'd have thought that she had been electrocuted. So, I left while she was in the bathroom." "You're a dumbass." He sighs, shaking his head. "I tried to go back to her apartment, to make up with her, but she was getting ready to go out. I went with her but she kept dancing with all these other guys. They kept touching her and I couldn't—" "Well, what do you expect? If you don't tell her, then yeah, chances are that she will move on." He cuts me off, always a straight shooter. I nod my head, groaning at myself. "I know! I don't know what to do." "You need to grow a pair and tell her or move on." He suggests. After coffee, I make the decision. I book my flight for early the next morning, needing to prepare myself to leave her, again. When I get to her apartment the next morning, she's getting ready for work and my heart breaks at what I'm about to do. "Hey, Smiley, can we grab some dinner tonight; I've got to get going." "This'll be quick because I have a flight to catch." As soon as the words leave my mouth, she freezes. Her body is stiff and she's stopped breathing. "You're leaving?" she whispers, looking down at her feet. I take a deep breath, willing the frown off my face. "Yeah, have other businesses to look after, you know." She takes a deep and shaky breath, nodding her head before turning to me. Her eyes are glistening with unshed tears as she launches herself into my arms. "This feels familiar, huh?" she sniffles, face in my neck. "Don't be a stranger, neighbor." I repeat the words from our last departure. "Back at you, Smiley." She whimpers, clinging to me. I squeeze my eyes tight, forcing the tears to stay inside. "I'll walk you out." She sniffles, wiping her thumbs under her eyes. She holds onto my hand as we walk out, squeezing as if she thinks I might float away. "Listen, Arlo, I need to tell you something about yesterday—" "I've got to go." I spit out, not wanting to taste her rejection twice. "No, just give me—" "I'll call you when I land." I interrupt once more, pressing a kiss to her temple, inhaling her mint and honey scented shampoo. "Yes, okay." She responds, frowning. I love you so much, I think as I say the words, "See you around, neighbor." She nods her head, frozen to the spot as she watches me walk away from her.