Lies Within Sterling

Chapter Eight: The Black Sheep

"Hey," Logan says as we squish him between us.  

James laughs before setting Logan back onto the floor. "Go wait for me downstairs, okay buddy? I'll be there soon," he says.

I wait for Logan to disappear into the basement before turning back to James with a smug look. "Why didn't you tell me that Cruella De Ville was your baby mama?"

James laughs and avoids the questions, making me believe that he was slightly embarrassed. Which makes no sense, Victoria was Valedictorian, she was the kind of girl you would tell strangers off the street about.

"How's Ryan," James deflects by putting the image of cute but crazy Ryan back into my mind. I forgot that James met my latest fling two months ago. "Last time I saw you, he was sleeping on your crouch... something about the CIA putting a wire in his lights."

The reminder of Ryan's paranoid tendencies was enough to make me laugh, finally breaking me out of my tense stature. "We're not together anymore."

"What? How can this be? You two were the Romeo and Juliet of our time." Sarcasm was never James's thing.

"Very funny," I laugh. "How are things?"

James shrugs and looks away. "It's been hard since Lily," he looks back at me, more careful of what to say. "I...uh...I just can't believe she's gone, you know?"

"Yeah I do." I hold in my breath. "I guess, I just keep thinking that she's going to come back. That one morning I might wake up and hear her music across the hall. I haven't been able to go into her room since..." I look at James with glassy eyes. "...you know. It's just too hard."

James pulls me into another hug, holding me tightly and breathing heavily into my ear. I never thought about how her death would affect him. We were all so close as kids, and still, I didn't imagine him to be so broken up. I guess, I just thought this unbearable grief was only reserved for the immediate family. A misguided thought, I am now realising.

James forces himself away from me, backing up and wiping his eyes. His cheeks have turned red, and I can't tell if it was because he was crying or if he was embarrassed.

"Sorry," he says to prove to me that he was ashamed of his sudden emotion.

"You don't have to be," I say while rubbing his shoulder. "Have you seen Andy this morning?" My body tenses, I don't know where that question came from.

James clears his throat. "Finn flew in early and surprised him. I imagine the two love birds are making sweet noise some place that isn't your father's house." James jokes but it only sounds forced through his sad tone.

Hearing that Finn is in town made my stomach turn. The thought of Andy telling him about what I did and what it cost the two of them was enough for me to want to lock myself in my room for the rest of the week.

I'm tired of disappointing people. I want their wedding to be one that people talk about years later, I want it labelled as a historical event. Which obviously won't happen if the guests have to wear nose plugs to block out the scent of week-old cow manure.

I will make it better, Andy, I promise.

#

"Nope, nu-uh, not happening." Charlie says as he shakes his head. "Do you know how pissed they are?"

Charlie and I have been sitting in Liza's diner for only a half hour and I'm already fed up with our conversation. I called him here so we could come up with a way to clean up the mess I have created.

For some reason I thought that Charlie was the answer to all my problems, that somehow, he would be able to get us back his family's land. I couldn't have been more wrong.