Mom, I'm Bulletproof

Chapter 16.3: Rum and Coke

"What exactly happened in that room?" Lazlo asked over the phone.

"I just changed the course of an entire universe," the Ergosphere said. "It takes a lot out of a person."

"So, you're a god? Is that what you're saying?"

"Of course I'm not a god. I just give God a little whap upside his head every once in a while."

"If you say so," Lazlo said. "But if you can fix universes, why not do that with our universe?"

"The universe inside Donnelly's brain was brand new, freshly created. This place is way too complicated and broken for what I can do. Best to do what I always do, help out here and there."

"All right, what next?"

"I'm... not sure." The Ergosphere hung up on Lazlo and looked around the casino floor. A live band played while a handful of senior citizens and college students fluttered about the casino, occasionally playing roulette, watching the ball spin around and around. Others played blackjack, hoping for beginner's luck only to be horribly disappointed.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," a voice said over the loudspeaker. "You're here at a historic morning. Discount Inn Presents the Monument Valley Old West Casino is proud to unveil ten brand new slot machines from the Sittman company, the hottest new name in today's cutting-edge, high-tech slots."

The Ergosphere followed the small but curious crowd in the direction of the main casino floor, where a grey-haired orange-tanned man in an unfortunate gaudy tuxedo stood before a row of what he assumed were the new slot machines, under a large velvet red cloth.

"I'm Dan Sittman, CEO," the man said through his unnatural too-white teeth. "The Sittman name represents the height of perfection when it comes to the modern gambling experience. Big payoffs, big excitement, and big, big fun. Everybody likes fun, right?" The handful of people in front of the man applauded politely.  

The Ergosphere suspected the man was losing his audience. Several audience members' eyes had already started straying back to the games. Sittman stopped speaking at this point and pulled away the cloth, revealing ten slot machines standing back to back. They were gold with black trim, and their screens flashed with vivid CGI imagery straight out of Hollywood. The Ergosphere had to admit, they did indeed look futuristic – for this world, at least. 

With the fanfare, such as it was, concluded, the old ladies in the front row hobbled over, zombie-like, to the new machines and started feeding money into them.

The Ergosphere decided to lose interest, turning his back to the spectacle of greed and started walking back to the bar. He then heard a mechanical hiss and a woman's scream. He chose to get interested again.

A blocky mechanical arm had somehow emerged from the slot machine on the farthest left side, grabbing hold of the forearm of the woman sitting in front of it.

With the clamp-like golden hands, it grasped onto the woman, who continued to holler and scream in both pain and fear.

Several other machines started to wobble, as if pulling away from each other. The other gamblers jumped back, panicking.

The machines rose into the hovering off the ground by about a foot. They drifted apart from each other, allowing their own arms to pop out of their sides. Each machine's right arm was a menacing clamp, and each left hand was a small gun-like apparatus.

By now, the various senior citizens and college students watching the spectacle turned and ran, screaming in fear and confusion.

One machine aimed its gun hand at the ceiling and a burst of golden yellow light shot out of it, striking the glittering casino ceiling, instantly blackening it.

Sittman whistled, and four of the slot machines moved, two toward the wide open entrance to the casino, and two off in the other directions – other exits, the Ergosphere assumed, such as the elevators or a fire exit.

"Lovely," Sittman said. "Absolutely, positively lovely."

Sittman removed his coat and turned it inside out, revealing it to be a reversible with a shiny gold lining that now shone brightly under the casino lighting as it put it back on. His assistant handed him a long, shiny gold coat and a golden cowboy hat.

"Vegas just isn't what it used to be," he said. "Therefore, this is a robbery. Everybody empty out your wallets and purses, after which I'm going for the vault."

Before anyone had a chance to follow Sittman's orders, they were interrupted by clomping footsteps from behind.

"Move it!" another man yelled. "Move, move move!"

The casino security guards flooded into the room, some of them wearing ordinary blue rent-a-cop uniforms and others wearing smart black suits. The Ergosphere thought they looked pretty sharp, but he liked his own black suit better.

The man in gold snapped his fingers again, and the remaining machines in the room spun around in the air and fired at guards. The beams struck the lead guard in the chest, dropping him to the floor, clutching his chest as tendrils of smoke and small drops of flood covered his shirt. The other guards dropped their weapons and backed off.

"Let's try this again," Sittman said. "Isn't it about time you all started emptying your wallets?"

Everyone on the casino floor responded quickly, holding out wads of cash, watches, and jewelry for the man and his flying machines to collect.

The Ergosphere, however, did not offer any money. Instead, he turned his back to the whole scene and walked over to the bar adjacent to the casino floor. He propped himself up on a barstool and slammed his hand down on the bar.

"Rum and Coke," he said. The bartender Yvette was nowhere in the sight. The Ergosphere leaned forward over the bar and saw her huddled on the floor.

"We're under attack," she whispered. "Get out of here."

"On the contrary," the Ergosphere said. "This is the second-most interesting thing I've come across today. I'd like to enjoy a rum and Coke, please."

"You're insane!" Yvette crawled away from him.

"You're not going to get a tip." 

While the robbery continued behind him, the Ergosphere hopped over the bar and started making his own run and Coke, one that didn't overdo it on the ice for once. 

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Next: Hoedown.