Breaking the Habits | Herophine #2

•Fourteen•

Real Eyes, Realize, Real Lies
Faith

I had no idea why, but days were drifting away this year, Christmas passed in the blink of an eye, I had a million issues on my mind, graduation was coming up I had to prepare an honors speech, as well as seriously thinking about moving out of my sister's house or not, more over, breaking up with Elijah which was at the top of the list, but after Jax came back home from the UK after letting me know he was single again and that his ex apparently took it well, the more I saw him, the more I put off breaking up with Elijah. I let it simmer for a week, a week turned into two and those two weeks turned into five months, five months in which Elijah often went away some weekends with his parents to try and fix their situation, on may of those nights, I'd stay out until late with Jax, no sex involved, just talking, getting to know each other from the ground up.

"Have you spoken to him?" He asked me as I laid the blanket down in my backseat, Malibu became the base of all our meetings now, it was far enough to see each other secretly but crowded enough to not be spotted. "I haven't, I've been stressing over graduation, my speech and besides he's been struggling with a few things himself, I'd only hurt him more, and I want this to be as smooth as you did it with Amelia."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes as I cuddled into his chest. "It really wasn't that smooth pretty lady, besides it's been months now Faith, the longer you wait, the more it's going to hurt, and the longer we wait to be together." I agreed, but so far Jax respected every single boundary I placed for him, including not kissing me as impulsively as he was before, "I know, I just, I need to wait for the right time." Jax lifted my chin up to look at him. "There's never a right time to pull the plug on a relationship Faith, the longer you string him along the more the bandage is gonna hurt when you pull it off."

I sighed, not wanting to hear more about it but Jax just wouldn't put a lid on it. "I'm pretty sure he's noticed that you ignore his calls when he's away." He raised a brow. "Can you shut up and enjoy this moment with me? I don't want to think about that right now, how about you help me write my speech? I don't even know what I should say." I said, he kissed my temple and we didn't speak further on the subject, pretty soon the sun was up and it was time to part ways from one another.

I arrived home and got the third degree from River, out of all people, she was decorating a cake, she'd been taking baking classes to satisfy my sister and her own sweet tooth after realizing how much she spent on her hourly trips to Pascal's bakery every time she got mad at her wife. "That's not healthy." She said in a sing-songy tune. "I know you're not doing anything wrong, your conscience wouldn't allow you to get away with it." She said pointing the glazing knife at me, she wiped her face but ended up smearing chocolate frosting on her cheek. "But if you can't tell Elijah that you're hanging out with Jax, and I have to tell him that you're out searching for themes for your speech, which I know is going to be kickass, then you're already doing something wrong Fae." She smiled at me.

I often wondered if River was a counselor in a past life. "I know, Jax already reamed me about it too, I just have to wait for the right time." She looked at me with, Let's be serious eyes, "And when is that going to be? When he shows up and finds Jax dropping you off like that time you guys stopped talking or maybe when he goes down to Malibu beach and finds both of you in the backseat." She raised a brow at me. I'd confessed to her and only her what I was doing with my time, and why I was leaving home so late and coming back so early often. "Okay! Okay! I get it! Jesus..." She shook her head at me, "I'll tell him soon."

I swear I had it in mind, but graduation rolled in out of nowhere, I was up for my speech, and unable to keep my nerves under control, Elijah gave me a soft kiss to calm me down before I walked toward the podium, my eyes flitted toward Jax, who was clearly jealous, my hands were trembling and I scanned the audience and everyone I loved was among the crowd, Logan, River, Milan and in spirit, my father, I looked up at the sky and smiled as I began my speech: