Shall We Dance?

Chapter 36 - Decisions

I never had the chance to share my idea with Liz about hosting the show this week. I'm certainly glad that I didn't open my mouth. In the past days, my life has consisted of dance rehearsals, sleep and life changing decisions. Even Javi realized that I needed to be by myself for a few days and stayed at Denise. 

Madison also looked so tired and was quiet. I tried not to think too much about it, but it made me feel insecure. Does she want to be with me after everything that has happened? She was living a calm and happy life, moving to a new place and studio. Then along I came and brought her into my world, with my family and work issues. When she told me that she would sleep at her house I felt truly worried. And maybe it's nothing. Maybe she misses her bed, her room, her usual routine. But I miss her. Only her presence fills me with peace and I enjoy her company and intelligent talk. 

It isn't like her behavior in the past days has changed either. Every day when I arrive at her house, she receives me with the same smile, a hug and a kiss. We dance and share a laugh over simple things. Then I head home, and the hole in my chest returns. 

I wish I knew how she feels about me. She's always kind and ready with enough compliments, but I crave the right words that will let me know that she truly loves me. I also need her. Especially now that I have taken a decision that could affect our lives, I need to know how she feels about it.

"I'm done here," the stylist says.

I look at myself in the mirror and the man who stares back looks refined and powerful, far from how I am. I bet that's how Kevin thought of us. How we managed to grab the spotlight meant for him when under all this facade we are simple people. I've been to visit my brother, who's doing well among the circumstances, but have not seen Kevin. I've come to peace with the fact that I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't play false. I didn't harass people or put anyone in danger to get where I am now.

"Thank you, Jane. You always make me look like a million," I flash her a smile.

"Oh, you!" She laughs and fans her face. "That happens when you have a good model to begin with. Good luck tonight!"

My next stop after 'hair and makeup' is 'wardrobe' and I wonder that they have picked for me. Liz excused Madison and I from the general rehearsal, saying we'll be the first to dance and that the instructions from the last show are still valid, so I took my sweet time to get here. As I walk out, I almost bump into Roman. With everything going on, I almost forgot about this dick. 

"That's some weird shit you all went through, right?" He tries to engage me in conversation.

I consider exchanging a few words with him, but I simply don't have the energy or desire. If anything, I just want to wipe his stupid smile with a punch, but he isn't worth even that. On the next turn, I find Bailey reading papers.

"Hey, Bailey. Have you seen Madison?"

"I saw her earlier at her house, but she left before I did. I haven't seen her around here. Good luck out there, I'll be cheering for you," she gives me a warm smile and I pat her arm.

My journey through the network maze continues and some people stop me to ask how Ale is doing. I give them a vague but truthful answer that seems to satisfy them before moving along.

"Glad I've bumped into you," Liz says. "I want to show you this."

Liz places her laptop on a crate and opens it. She has many tabs open from different media outlets which had published a piece I finished writing last night and sent out to our communications department. I didn't forget about it, but didn't actively search if it had been published.

"The media craves news about you and your brother. Our team didn't touch what you wrote. I must admit that I was hesitant because of the private nature of this, but what you did was brave."