THROUGH THE NIGHT (MEWGULF)

33: Relapse

MEW'S POV

"Mew!". 

I suddenly heard someone call my name from a distance. I looked around and finally saw Off running towards me. He was panting while wiping all the sweat from his face.

"Thank god, I found you!", he sat next to me on the ground. "Why the hell is this cemetery so big? I've been looking around for an hour now".

"How did you know I was here?", I asked him. 

"This is the one place I know of that you go to when you feel lost. Talking to this tombstone has been your way of comforting yourself, Mew". 

I didn't really expect him to come and find me. When I left the house and drove away, I didn't realize sooner that I was taking myself to Type's grave. I was already at the cemetery gate when it dawned on me. When I got to Type, all I could do was sit here and shed tears. Just thinking about everything was so painful. Why does the world have to play us like this?

Eventually, I stopped crying. I told Type about this messed up predicament and how everything felt so confusing. I was hoping that me being here would somehow make me realize what I should do, but I've already been here for two days. I haven't left since I got here. I haven't slept either.

"Can I ask why you're not answering any calls and why you haven't been back at the house yet?", Off suddenly broke the silence.

"My phone died and I don't know", I answered. "I feel like I'm not ready to face everything again just yet".

He nodded as if to say he understood me. "I get it. You're in a tough situation".

"What do you think I should do, Off?", I sincerely asked him.

He sighed. "I'm not sure, Mew. But, I have to ask you this so we can set things straight. Are you really blaming Gulf for everything?".

"No". I thought I did at first, but I realized that I could never do that to him.

Seeing the bracelet that he was wearing made me go into shock. It suddenly brought back all the painful memories of the night it all happened. It felt like I was reliving the past. I thought I was going mad because I wanted that bracelet for myself. But really, the real reason was because it was evidence of what I never wanted to happen; for Type and Gulf's parents to be in the same accident. I knew that this would only make Gulf blame himself more.

I can't imagine just how confused and hurt he must be feeling right now. I said and did things to him that weren't on purpose, but I know he still took everything to the heart. Maybe this is why I haven't gone back home yet. I'm afraid that he won't ever forgive me.

"You know, he was a mess when you left him. We heard that he even injured his hand. I think he smashed a mirror or something", he told me.

Shit. I closed my eyes in frustration. I knew that he would deal with this bad, but I didn't think he'd react to this extent. Thinking of Gulf hurting himself brought a deep pain in my chest. I feel guilty and I have no idea how I can make things better.

"Luckily, Saint and Zee were there. They cared for him and they even cleaned up all the stuff Gulf threw around his room".

"Is Gulf okay now?", I asked him.

"Mew...he left".

"What?". I didn't think I was hearing him right.

"He's at his aunt's house already. He packed up and left, Mew. His room's completely empty", he told me. "I came here to tell you that he says he's not coming back".